Every year around December, people find themselves wondering…
“Why do I feel so emotional?”
“Why am I anxious, overwhelmed or irritated?”
“Why does Christmas feel… heavy?”
And if you’re someone who grew up with chaos, criticism, emotional inconsistency or any version of “walking on eggshells,” then Christmas isn’t just a holiday season… 🎄
It’s a somatic time machine.
This is because Christmas activates the same parts of the brain as emotional memories from childhood.
Christmas isn’t just a one-off date.
It’s a sensory clusterfuck of:
🎄 Fucked up family dynamics
🎄 Expectations
🎄 Pressure
🎄 Disappointment
🎄 Traditions
🎄 Roles you were forced into
🎄 The “perfect family” fantasy (which may not be at all accurate for your family)
🎄 The reality that rarely matched
Your nervous system remembers all of that – and it starts remembering waaaay before Christmas actually comes around. 😳
Even if you don’t consciously think about those childhood Christmases, your body does.
The smells. The sounds. The emotional vibe in a room. The tension. The yelling. The silence. The criticism. The pressure to behave. To hug the creepy uncle. To stay in a room you didn’t want to be in.
Your body logs those memories, and when the season rolls back around…your system automatically goes into alert mode.
Your body remembers the pattern long before your brain does.
IF YOU GREW UP IN CHAOS, YOUR BODY PREPARES YOU FOR CHAOS.
If Christmas in your house meant… a substance-affected parent, a stressed-out caregiver, shouting matches, passive aggression, criticism, feeling invisible, being the “good one” to keep the peace, managing everyone else’s emotions or watching the people you love fall apart…
then your nervous system learned early that December = danger. ⛔️
Even decades later, your inner child still remembers, and braces for impact. 😥
If this is hitting home, the you’re EXPERIENCING A TRIGGERED NERVOUS SYSTEM.
A trigger isn’t about what’s happening today, it’s about what it reminds your body of.
Christmas stirs up the unsorted grief, trauma, emotional neglect and unmet needs you had to swallow as a child.
Your brain connects the season to the feelings you survived.
SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WITH THIS AWARENESS?
- Stop judging your reactions – give yourself grace for how you’re feeling.
- Name what’s happening – that’s it’s an old wound speaking to you. This will help you regulate how you’re feeling.
- Have boundaries ready – know it’s ok to give yourself space and say no when you need to. ✋🏼
- Give your inner child what they didn’t get back then – safety, a hug, comfort, rest, permission to feel your feelings.
- Reduce contact with people who you don’t feel safe around (yes, this includes partners and family). You don’t owe anything to anyone who’s caused you pain. 🥺
Christmas doesn’t need to be picture-perfect. It just needs to be safe, nourishing, calm and honest.
And if your partner is adding to your stress, confusion or emotional load?
Then babe…it’s time to look a little deeper.
Which is why I created a free download: “10 Signs Your Relationship Is ACTUALLY Toxic”
It’ll give you clarity when everything feels loud.
Download it via the link in my bio.
You deserve a Christmas that feels peaceful – actually, you deserve every day to feel peaceful, not just this one day.
Love you,
