One of the hardest things about being in a relationship with a covert abuser is the fact that nobody witnesses the abuse. 🥺 Actually, most people see the complete opposite – the charming person, the funny side of them, the helpful side of them, the “empathic” side of them. They might see your partner as the kind of person who’d give you the shirt off their back. 👕 The kind of person everyone loves – while behind closed doors,…
One of the most fucking annoying people tell survivors of toxic, abusive and narcissistic relationships is: “Just get over it” … as if what you endured was only a bad breakup. 😳 Like you can wake up one morning, decide you’re done thinking about them, and magically move on. But when you’ve spent months or years in a relationship involving manipulation, coercive control, gaslighting, trauma bonding and emotional abuse, they didn’t just hurt your feelings. They totally changed the…
There’s a quiet trap many emotionally intelligent, empathetic people fall into – and I’ve been there in most of my past relationships too. You’re not in love with how they’re showing up right now. You’re in love with who you know they could be. 🤔 You see their depth (you think), their wounds, the backstory that created those wounds, the insight they almost have. You can picture the future version of them so clearly it feels irresponsible not to…
If, in your relationship, you feel like you have to monitor your words, your tone, your behaviour, your mood and basically your entire existence to keep your partner happy, this is a mahoosive red flag – it’s not love. 🚩 You stay because you crave connection with them and your nervous system has become used to being happy enough with the bare minimum breadcrumbs they give you. Because you’ve normalised it so much, it feels familiar and…
I’ve been blamed by more than one person for being the cause for their relationship ending. And I’m totally fine with it. Because it has nothing to do with cheating – it’s because I’ve been their partners’ coach and/or energy worker/Reiki teacher. My absolute passion in life is helping my clients to fulfil their potential; to become the best version of themselves, clearing whatever is holding them back, healing their past trauma, and figuring out whatever their version of…
There came a moment in my past abusive relationships where something inside me said “not this, not anymore“. Initially, it was a whisper, and the whisper got louder until I just couldn’t ignore it. If this is happening to you right now too, it may still be a whisper that you don’t fully trust yet – and that’s totally ok. But you are feeling it. Thinking it. Knowing it, deep in your bones somewhere. That nagging feeling that…