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Browsing Tag

needs

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18 life lessons from a helper (recovering rescuer-enabler) type

After spending most of my life helping others, and often (in the past) to my detriment, I thought I’d share some learnings that I wish someone had shared with me.   PEOPLE CAN CHANGE, BUT WE CAN’T CHANGE THEM   As a helper type it’s so natural to want to dive in and help people we see in need, especially those closest to us.   We do this because we believe everyone has the capacity to change; over time, we…

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Would you rather be an eagle or a duck?

There’s a great analogy in the world of biz and leadership that talks about how to spot whether people are eagles or ducks (most peeps are ducks, I call them sheeples).Ducks…🦆 quack and complain🦆 walk around in their own shit🦆 spend a lot of their time at ground level🦆 ducks are everywhere🦆 they follow the crowd, walking in a straight line looking neither left nor right so they can’t look outside their own limits🦆 they’re easy to control🦆 they do…

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You must master your environment before you depart it

I was listening to a podcast the other day and the interviewee was talking about the best piece of advice he ever received from a mentor. “You must master your environment before you depart it.” There are times where this isn’t possible or safe to do so – for example, in a situation of domestic violence. But the statement got me thinking about how a lot of us will jump from one similar situation to another, never learning the lessons…

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Would you rather be in pain than spend time alone with yourself?

I was listening to a Jay Shetty video the other day and he quoted a study where people were given the option of either sitting in a room with their own thoughts for 15 minutes, or giving themselves an electric shock. 60% of men and 30% of women gave themselves a shock, rather than spend 15 minutes alone with their own head. Which would you choose? I know so many people who would really struggle to sit alone and do…

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We are all just trying to fill our unmet needs

I work with clients from all kinds of backgrounds. With a lot of people that have had the kind of upbringing most people would prefer to not know was possible. Drug addicts. The homeless. People with a hectic criminal record. Something they all have in common is that no matter how broken they seem to society, they are all survivors. Survivors of abuse of all kinds.Survivors of self-harm and suicide attempts. Survivors of neglect and lives without love. They are…

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