As I write this, I’m mid-air flying to London for an emergency trip back to the UK. ✈️
Cam was there with me when I got some concerning news and he was so amazing, nothing but supportive. 🥰
It wasn’t even a thought that I had to ask for “permission” to book a flight home even though it means all our Christmas plans go out the window.
I had a moment where I thought what this would have been like in my past relationship. 🤔
It would have created drama for sure, I’d have been made to be out like I was a massive inconvenience, ruining Christmas, being a burden and accused of “having a good time” while I was there.
It probably would have been so much hassle that I may not even have gone. 🥺
I certainly would have struggled to find the money to go back then, given he was financially abusing me.
He also would have held a grudge about it forever. 😤
This is the stuff I’ve spent years unpacking, both personally and professionally. ❤️🩹
After working in domestic abuse spaces, working with perpetrators, supporting survivors, and now coaching hundreds of women through the aftermath of toxic relationships, I can tell you this with certainty:
Drama isn’t passion.
Control isn’t care. 🥺
And love doesn’t punish you for having a life.
This time – I have a supportive partner, time freedom as I work for myself so no need to see if I can get leave from work, I’ve got no debt and savings in the bank for cases like this and a million people would be happy to take care of my dog Squishy while Cam’s at work.
Life is so different in a supportive, loving partnership. 😍
Healthy partners don’t escalate crises. They stabilise them.
Shit times are always bound to happen in life, and who you do life with changes everything.
When the shit hits the fan in your world, how does your partner react? 💩
I didn’t just “get lucky” with a healthy relationship.
I did the fucking work; including nervous system healing, boundary repair, trauma processing, and rebuilding my self-worth from the ground up.
This is exactly the work I now guide others through in my coaching and energy work, because no one should have to earn safety in a relationship.
If you’re constantly bracing for drama, walking on eggshells, or minimising your own needs to keep the peace, you’re in survival mode.
I created a free checklist called “10 Signs Your Relationship is Actually Toxic” to help you get clarity without gaslighting yourself.
Want it? Link in bio.
And if you’re ready to stop carrying baggage that was never yours to begin with, send me a message. Coaching and energy work can change your entire nervous system, as well as your future relationships.
Catcha on the flip side,
