(It’s the subtle shit that steals your power)
Manipulation isn’t always the obvious, movie-villain stuff. 🦹
Sometimes it’s soft, sneaky, and served with a side of “but I’m only saying this because I love you babe.”
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, guilty, or like your brain got fucked over by someone who swears they “did nothing wrong”… I totally know how that feels. 🥺
You’ve probably been manipulated, which is hard to swallow if you consider yourself a good judge of character like I do!
Here are the big 10 signs; the ones most people miss until they’re knee-deep in self-doubt wondering if they’re the crazy one.
1: THEY RE-WRITE HISTORY, SOMEHOW YOU END UP ALWAYS BEING THE ONE IN THE WRONG 😑
You remember EXACTLY what was said.
They remember… a version that makes them the victim and you the bad guy.
So you start doubting your own memory (an effect of gaslighting), leaving them looking like a smug fuckwit. 😏
Classic manipulation move.
2: YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR HAVING YOUR OWN NEEDS
You ask for emotional connection, consistency, respect – you know, basic human things.
They act like you’ve asked them to donate a kidney. 🫘
Suddenly the conversation flips and you’re apologising for the gazillionth time.
3: THEY WEAPONISE YOUR VULNERABILITY
“I had a shitty childhood.”
“I’ve got anxiety.”
“No one’s ever cared about me like you.”
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.”
Important note: trauma is real.
But manipulating you because of trauma?
It’s NOT ok. 👎🏻
If every boundary you set leads to a sob story, you’re being manipulated.
4: YOU’RE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS
Before you speak, you calculate the reaction and all the different possible versions that could go down.
Will they sulk? Blow up? Act like you don’t exist for 48 hours even when you’re right next to them?
Healthy relationships don’t require tactical communication strategies just to make it through the day. 🥷
5: THEY SAY YOU’RE OVERREACTING TO EVERYTHING
You: “That hurt me.”
Them: “Get over it, it wasn’t that bad.”
You: “That wasn’t okay.”
Them: “Stop being so dramatic”
They don’t want to be held accountable, so they make out like you’re the problem. 🥺
6: THEIR “JOKES” ARE ACTUALLY JUST HUMILIATION
If their humour is just thinly disguised cruelty with a “lol you’re too sensitive” if you get hurt, that’s not a joke.
That’s someone using humour as a weapon and calling it banter.
I bloody love good banter, but never if I think it will actually hurt someone. 😢
7: THEY USE YOUR EMPATHY AGAINST YOU
You’re kind, caring, compassionate.
This leaves you vulnerable to being used and abused by a manipulator. 🫣
They twist your kindness into obligation.
You end up giving more, they end up giving a big bag of fuck all. ❌
8: THEY WITHDRAW LOVE WHEN YOU “STEP OUT OF LINE”
Have an opinion?
Need something?
Nek minit: coldness, distance, withholding affection, ghosting or acting like you’re a mahoosive inconvenience to them. 🫥
Manipulation is all about “love” with a bunch of conditions that only seem to ever suit the manipulator.
9: YOU CONSTANTLY FEEL CONFUSED 😵💫
Manipulation often shows up as a vibe more than an action.
If you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, questioning reality, or trying to decode their latest mood swing… something’s not right.
Healthy love makes your nervous system feel safer, not confused.
10: YOUR ENERGY FEELS DEPLETED
When you’re being manipulated, you don’t always see it, but your body knows.
You feel drained, like something (someone) is sucking the life out of you (and you keep giving them the straw).
Anxious. Off. Like you’re shrinking, becoming a shell of your former self. 🐚
Manipulators don’t need to shout to control you. Sometimes they just slowly erode your power insidiously over time until you forget you had any.
If you read this list and felt called out because someone’s been doing this shit to you, please know this:
You’re not imagining it. You’re not dramatic. You’re not “too much”. You’re not losing the plot. 🤯
You’re just being manipulated by someone who wants you to stay stuck.
And once you see the game?
You stop playing it.
Checkmate, fuckwit. ♟️
If you’re ready to rebuild your self-worth, understand your patterns, and stop attracting manipulative fuckwits altogether, join my online coaching program Project Self-Worth.
This is the work that changes your whole fucking life. 🥰
Comment/reply/DM me “LOVE” and let’s chat.
Catcha on the flip side,
