Have you ever noticed how easy it is to spot when your mate is self-sabotaging themselves, but how when it’s you doing the same thing, you justify your behaviour? 🤔
You tell yourself you’re just keeping the peace, “letting it go”, “being chill” or compromising, being kind or “holding space”.
But are you actually just abandoning yourself by people-pleasing, letting them walk all over you and having shitty boundaries?
You abandon yourself every time you:
🌀 Say yes when you mean no, just to avoid disappointing someone
🌀 Swallow your truth to keep the peace
🌀 Accept breadcrumbs because “at least it’s something”
🌀 Prioritise everyone else’s needs over your own
🌀 Ignore that gut feeling that’s whispering “This isn’t right”
It’s death by a thousand self-betrayals. 😔
So why do you do it?
Self-abandonment is a survival strategy.
If you grew up in chaos, rejection, or conditional love, you learned that safety equals compliance. 🤷🏼♀️
Your nervous system decided that being agreeable (fawning) was the only way to stay safe.
So even as an adult, your body still associates authenticity with danger. ⚠️
It’s not a weakness… it’s the way you’ve been conditioned due to the trauma you’ve experienced.
THE COST OF STAYING STUCK THERE
The longer you abandon yourself, the more disconnected you feel – from your intuition, your body, your truth.
You start losing sight of what makes you happy because you’re too busy managing everyone else’s emotions.
You wake up one day and realise you’ve built a life full of people who don’t actually know you… because you’ve never shown them who you really are.
That’s the opposite of peace, which I know you’re craving (because I’ve been there too).
HOW TO STOP ABANDONING YOURSELF
❤️🩹 Pause before you say yes.
Ask, “Is this something I actually want to do, or am I doing it to be liked?”
❤️🩹 Start telling the truth in small doses.
Speak your needs out loud – even if your voice shakes, even if it’s hard. Try writing it out first, to get it clear in your head before saying it out loud.
❤️🩹 Learn to hold the guilt.
It’s normal to feel guilty for putting your own needs first when you’ve never done it before – you’re learning something new. Trust me, it gets easier, it’s all about putting in the reps.
❤️🩹 Reconnect with your own needs daily.
Ask yourself: “What do I need right now to feel safe, calm, and grounded?” and “If I 100% loved, honoured, trusted and respected myself, what would I be doing right now?”
❤️🩹 Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries.
The ones who get offended by your growth were benefitting from your lack of it.
You can’t build a life you love while abandoning the person who has to live it.
Every time you choose yourself (even in the teeniest way) you’re teaching your body that you’re safe now.
And that’s where healing starts.
IS IT TIME TO TAKE YOUR POWER BACK?
If you’re ready to stop abandoning yourself and start rebuilding your self-worth,
join the Project Self Worth waitlist.
It’s the program that helps women break the cycle of people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, and emotional exhaustion – and finally feel safe being themselves.
💫 Next live round begins Feb 2026
👉 Comment/reply WAITLIST for link
Because you’ve spent long enough making everyone else comfortable, babe.
As always, if you want a guide on your journey, drop me a message and let’s chat about how coaching and/or energy work can help.
Catcha on the flip side,
