It’s normal for us to want those we love the most to be supportive of our goals.
But sometimes, this isn’t our reality.
Recently a member of my online course asked me, “what do I do if my partner isn’t on board with my goals?”
It totally depends on what the context is around this.
We all have our own personal goals, as well as shared goals with our partner and family.
But sometimes our goals don’t align with each other, or perhaps your partner or family member isn’t on board with the goals you’ve set for yourself.
This can be totally ok in some situations.
Where this becomes tricky is where it ends up as a values conflict, or where the goals you both have for your relationship or family are very different.
Our priorities and values often change as we hit different milestones in life.
Where you once valued freedom, you may now favour security.
Where you once favoured growth, you may now prefer contribution.
If you previously favoured variety, you might prefer certainty.
None of these are good or bad, right or wrong.
But if you’re in a relationship where your goals and values are totally different, it might be time to take stock of where you’re at and reassess things.
Can you still move forward together while both working towards your own goals?
If you stay together, does that mean one of you is sacrificing or compromising, rather than harmonising?
Values conflicts are at the core of the majority of relationship issues. They can be resolved, but this does require you working together as a couple to resolve them.
Consider which goals your partner isn’t in alignment with. Can they be worked through? Do they really need to be on board with them, or can you move forward without their approval?
If it’s a deeper values conflict, try working through this together, compromise/harmonise on a solution together, and then work together on keeping that solution in place.
If you’re not even sure what your values are, then working those out is an important place to start.
Also look at what your needs are, and whether these are being met in your relationship.
Some deeper work may need to be done here, and some of this can be done alone, but if you can do it together that’s even more beneficial.
If you’re struggling to do this without support, consider getting a coach.
I support my coaching clients to work through these same issues, both in individual coaching and on my From Surviving To Thriving online group coaching program. I also teach clear communication in relationships and where communication can fall short.
Once you figure out your values and needs, it becomes clearer to see why the kind of goals you’ve set for yourself are important to you.
Give it a nudge and let me know how it works out for you.
Catcha on the flip side,
