“Relationships take work.”
Well yep, that’s true, but there IS a difference between two people working on a healthy relationship and people disguising emotional damage as effort.
The latter leads to slowly becoming a shell of yourself. 🐚
All relationships have challenges.
Hard conversations, disagreements and growing pains are normal.
But if you constantly feel anxious, confused, or like you’re the only one trying to fix things, that’s not “just a rough patch.”
Healthy love feels safe, even when it’s hard.
Toxic love makes you feel like you’re going cray cray. 🦞
HARD WORK = GROWTH
Hard work in a relationship looks like this:
✅ You both take responsibility for your stuff.
✅ You talk things through without playing the blame game.
✅ You disagree, but there’s still mutual respect.
✅ You feel seen, heard, and safe to be yourself.
Hard work builds connection.
TOXIC = DAMAGE CONTROL
Toxic love, on the other hand, feels like this:
🚫 You’re constantly apologising just to keep the peace.
🚫 You second-guess your memory because they twist the truth (gaslighting).
🚫 You feel anxious when your phone lights up.
🚫 You’re trying harder and harder, but it’s never enough.
Toxic “work” is only focused on survival. 🤯
If you’re spending all your energy trying to manage someone else’s moods, you’re not in a partnership… you’re in a toxic relationship.
THE DIFFERENCE
Conflict doesn’t mean toxicity.
Healthy couples fight, they just fight fair.
Toxic couples manipulate, gaslight, control, and call it “love.” ❤️🩹
They tell you you’re overreacting, too sensitive, or crazy, until you start believing it yourself.
So how do you tell the difference?
Ask yourself this:
“Do I feel safe being myself here, or do I feel like I’m constantly performing to keep the peace?”
If it’s the latter… it’s not just hard work, babe.
It’s hurting you. 😣
Real love isn’t supposed to drain you.
It’s supposed to help you grow into a better version of yourself.
If you’re exhausted from trying to hold it all together, that’s your sign to change things, not your cue to try harder.
You can’t fix a relationship that’s built on manipulation, no matter how much you love them. 🥺
And you deserve a love that feels calm and safe for your nervous system.
If any of this hits home, I’ve got your back.
I created a free guide: “10 Signs Your Relationship Is Actually Toxic” to help you see what’s really going on behind the confusion.
Inside, you’ll learn:
💣 The red flags most people miss
💣 How trauma bonding tricks you into staying
💣 The difference between growth and gaslighting
Stop doubting your gut, because it’s been right the whole time.
✨ Download your free guide now and start trusting yourself again.
As always, if you want a guide on your journey, drop me a message and let’s chat about how coaching and/or energy work can help.
Catcha on the flip side,
