One of the most fucking annoying people tell survivors of toxic, abusive and narcissistic relationships is: “Just get over it” … as if what you endured was only a bad breakup. 😳 Like you can wake up one morning, decide you’re done thinking about them, and magically move on. But when you’ve spent months or years in a relationship involving manipulation, coercive control, gaslighting, trauma bonding and emotional abuse, they didn’t just hurt your feelings. They totally changed the…
Imagine a world where we’re all taught how to regulate our emotions as kids, see our problems from a different perspective or as growth opportunities, and to have compassion and non-judgement for others. 🌍 A world where we process trauma as it happens, not when we hit a mid-life crisis. How different would that world look? 🧐 Less mental health issues? Less addiction issues? Less reacting and more responding? There are plenty of tools that you can use as…
It rarely starts with a big moment. 🤷🏼♀️ No dramatic fight. No obvious dealbreaker. No clear reason you can point to and say, “This is wrong.” 🤔 As a relationship coach and trauma-informed practitioner who has spent over 20 years working with women in unhealthy dynamics and perpetrators of family violence as a Parole Officer (and having lived it myself in many past relationships) I see this quiet questioning stage all the time. This means awareness is starting to…
The Christmas holidays are already in full swing with end of year work parties galore. 🎄 The time of year when everyone pretends they’re having magical, heart-warming moments when really all they want to do is curl up in bed and avoid everyone, and half the population is actually one passive-aggressive comment away from flipping a table and throat punching that relative they can’t stand. 🤜 If the build up to Christmas and the ensuing family gatherings or relationship…
Hey legend, Today as I write this, we are 20 days away from Christmas day.🎄 Christmas can be such a triggering time of year for many people – those who are estranged from their families, those remembering loved ones who’ve passed away, those unable to see their kids, the homeless, the addicted, the incarcerated… and many more. Loneliness and financial poverty can increase stress and exacerbate mental health issues. 🥺 The Christmas period can also…
“Relationships take work.” Well yep, that’s true, but there IS a difference between two people working on a healthy relationship and people disguising emotional damage as effort. The latter leads to slowly becoming a shell of yourself. 🐚 All relationships have challenges. Hard conversations, disagreements and growing pains are normal. But if you constantly feel anxious, confused, or like you’re the only one trying to fix things, that’s not “just a rough patch.” That’s a red flag. 🚩 …