Trapped in smiling depression



I look happy in this picture, right?


This was me in September 2010, the month before I moved from London to Australia. 


I was in Ibiza, with my brother, and it was definitely a happier week than I’d had, but I was still a shell of my former self.


I’d had a hell of a year – actually a hell of a few years leading up to that holiday.


I’d lost close friends to suicide, dealt with a few near-misses, was in chronic pain after slipping two discs in my back, had been a carer for a partner who had bipolar who tried to kill himself when I left him, been signed off work for months because of my back and spiralled into depression, all while planning to move my life to Australia (which had been the plan for the previous 10 years).


I was always the one who helped other people, and so when I was a messy heap on the floor, nobody knew what to do. 


Nor did I.


In this photo, I felt like I was starting to overcome depression; but I slipped back into it quickly the next year in Australia when a few things didn’t work out how I thought they would. 


Although I got myself out of depression, it still took a few years for me to love myself to the point where I’m living the amazing life I live now.


Three major things contributed to me healing the version of me you see in this photo.


  1. Learning tools to neutralise my negative state
  2. Healing and releasing the past baggage that was holding me back
  3. Learning how to truly, madly, deeply love myself


Those three pillars are what led to me living a life I truly love, on the inside as well as on the outside. 


If you’re where I was in that pic right now, drop me a message and let’s chat.


And come over and join my free group here


Catcha on the flip side,


Comments with Facebook


You Might Also Like