Self love vs self care



Back in early 2011, I found myself back in depression soon after thinking I’d recovered from it.


2010 was a pretty terrible year for me in many ways.


I slipped a disc in my back, was signed off work for 4 months, left a toxic relationship, ended up in depression and ultimately moved to Australia to fulfil a lifelong dream.


I think a lot of us who move to another country end up with the blues at some point because let’s face it, rebuilding an entire life somewhere else isn’t easy.


Looking back, when I moved to Australia I definitely felt back to my old self but chemically my brain probably hadn’t fully recovered yet.


In 2011 I found myself in this feeling of limbo; I was still in the process of setting up my life, working to get my second year working holiday visa by planting trees, and single.


I sunk back into depression.


I wasn’t in a job where I was helping anyone, I wasn’t in a relationship where I was helping anyone, and I was on the other side of the world from all my besties.


It was at this stage that I realised ALL my self-worth came from helping other people.


AND I realised how wrong that was.


I embarked on a journey of self-care at that point; chop wood, fetch water. Keeping it simple.


But it wasn’t until many years later that I clocked onto the fact that self-love is about so much more than just self care, when lack of self-worth bit me in the bum again.


By that point, in 2016, I’d achieved so many huge goals for myself, including permanent residency, running my biz full time and building my first ever home overlooking the ocean.


This growing hole in my solar plexus (the area of confidence and self-esteem) was chipping away at me; I realised I didn’t feel like I deserved all the amazingness I had in my life.


So, I embarked on Project Self Worth to work on improving my self-worth, self-esteem and self-love – properly this time.





The process of taking care of yourself with behaviours that serve your mental and physical health, like:

– spending time in nature

– hot baths

– exercise

– meditation

– good nutrition

– getting a massage/mani/pedi

– catching up with people that fill up your cup

– listening to your body when you’re tired/stressed/in need of a break



– setting healthy boundaries – saying no when you don’t want to do something

– practicing mindfulness

feeling into what is a yes for you, and what’s a no

– decluttering toxic environments, people and situations out of your life

– prioritising yourself instead of others

making self-care a priority

– losing the need to be busy, rushed and having a never-ending to do list

– feeling peaceful and content being on your own or having alone time

– no longer spending time with people who don’t fill your cup

speaking kindly to yourself

– accepting yourself fully, even what you perceive to be your flaws

forgiving yourself for past mistakes

– being authentically and unapologetically you

– having a high regard for your own wellbeing

– taking care of your own needs and ditching self-sacrificing behaviours

– no longer judging yourself


Reflect on your own life; are you truly in self-love mode, or are you really only practicing self care?


Self care IS a part of self love, but only a part of it.


Reflect on the list above – where could you improve in your own life?


When you live yourself from a place of true, authentic love for yourself, EVERYTHING changes.


Love yourself like you mean it.


Because you deserve it.


Catcha on the flip side,


Coach Carly xx




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