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Learn to soothe yourself when things aren’t going your way

When things aren’t working out the way we want them to, we often find ourselves in a negative headspace about things.

When we’re feeling stuck and negative about a challenge we’re going through, it’s really easy for our thinking around it to spiral downhill.

We also tend to get really specific about our perceived problems and that can lead to festering thoughts too.

For example – if you had to pay the mortgage next week and you knew you didn’t have the money, you might start getting specific with your thinking around bills and income.

“I have to pay $1000 mortgage on Tuesday but I’m not getting paid until Thursday, I have $200 in my account and I have to pay the gas and electric and buy food too…..and how will I get to work with no money?”

If you parked a car at the top of a hill and let off the handbrake, it would be much easier to stop the car before it gathers momentum than at the bottom of the hill.

It’s the same with our thoughts.

If we can catch ourselves out before the negative momentum has spiralled us too far downhill, then we can stay in a place of more clarity and focus on the solution instead of the problem.

So how do we do this?

By soothing ourselves.

Let’s face it, worrying never gets us anywhere – it just leads to stress, which has a negative domino effect by messing with our sleep, our health and how we cope/make decisions.

If we can step into a space in our heads where we’re soothing ourselves instead, we release the resistance – and when there’s no resistance we often receive clarity and answers about solutions to our challenges.

Think of it like soothing a child who’s fallen off a bike and hurt their knee. You would scoop them up in a big cuddle, and let them know that although it hurts right now, it will feel better soon, and when it’s healed they’ll forget it ever happened.

When you notice yourself on a negative downhill spiral in your thinking, change your language to soothe yourself.

Use statements like;

💞 I don’t know how or when this will get better, but I know and trust that it will

💫 even though things aren’t feeling good right now, feelings are temporary and they can – and do – change

💎 even though I didn’t see this coming, I know that everything always works out in the end

🌻 everything is going to be ok

🌟 I don’t know how things will work out but that’s ok, I don’t need to know how, all I need to do is surrender and know that the solution will come to me

Once you get on this positive momentum in your thinking, you’ll find it starts to neutralise the negative emotions.

Then ask yourself; what’s one thing I can do right now, to feel even a bit better than I do?

Go and do that thing.

Sometimes when you’re feeling really not good it can be hard to even think of what will help so I created a free download called “18 ways to feel better NOW” which you can use as a starting point.

You can grab it for free at https://www.coachcarly.com/ by entering your email address in the pop up box.

The practical steps you’ll use to feel better, combined with changing your inner language about it, will open you up to all the ideas, opportunities and conversations that will ultimately lead you to the solutions to whatever it is you’re struggling with.

If you’re struggling right now I’d love it if you reached out to me to see how I can help you.

Drop me a PM or message me viawww.coachcarly.com.

Just know that it’ll all be ok in the end.

Catcha on the flip side,

 

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