If you haven’t ever heard of a guy called Mathew Hussey talking about relationships, you need to find him on YouTube now.
He’s amazeballs, love his work.
One of the best things I’ve ever heard him talk about is how relationships are about the trash cans.
He talks about being taken to Disneyland by his folks as a 13 year old, and how excited he was.
He couldn’t articulate why at the time, but he was totally moved by the trash cans.
Each of them had a special theme depending on where they were.
It really stuck with him that someone cared enough about Disneyland to theme the trash cans.
It’s funny, because I remember the exact same thing about a theme park in Holland – I actually don’t remember anything else about it, just that the trash can sucked the trash out of my hand and made a funny noise.
You use the trash cans daily, all day long.
He’s continued to think about the trash cans in his business, life and relationships.
The trash cans are a metaphor for the daily acts of support, service, love and kindness.
All of the little daily details that, when done properly, make for a great relationship and life.
How you greet that person after a work day.
How you help them around the house.
How you are together under financial strain.
How you act towards them when they’ve had a shitty day or are in a bad mood.
How you work together if one of you needs or asks for help from the other.
How you are together during the messy, chaotic crisis moments.
I’d love to hear from you – what are the trash cans you want in your ideal relationship?
For me, it’s the little things my name does that show me he’s paying attention, listening to what I say and how I am.
The attention to detail that shows me he cares.
The moments he’s thinking about me and making sure I’m ok even when he’s got stuff going on too.
When he supports me in silence when I’m being grumpy.
When he knows I need space and gives it to me without being needy.
When he gives me a cuddle knowing I need one, without me needing to ask for it.
If you’re missing an ex, are you missing the Disneyland rides and forgetting how shitty the trash cans were?
It’s the trash cans that define your relationship, not the moment you met Mickey Mouse or ride Space Mountain.
Those are the foundation of a great relationship.
Catcha on the flip side, hanging at the trash cans.