When I first started working for myself (and for many years into my biz, to be honest), I made myself available to my clients WAY more than I should have.
Back then I was a “helper” type, which I still am, but a helper type without boundaries means having zero boundaries on your time, space and energy and easily shifting from helper into rescuer/enabler. 🫣
When you’re always available for calls, texts, voice notes, the “can I pick your brain” questions and emotional meltdowns during a crisis, you lose any precious time for yourself and have no actual days off.
This was especially true when I worked full-time as a parole officer while running my coaching and healing biz on the side, often working 6am to 8pm, 7 days a week.
Zero Carly time. 🫥
For a long time I didn’t see the issue with it, because I loved all the things I did for work.
But being in rescuer mode is a fast route to burnout – and I’ve been there, many times in the past. 🔥
Most biz owners know what boundaries are – but they feel guilty setting them because they don’t want to disappoint people or seem selfish or uncaring.
So this perpetuates a cycle of over-giving and over-delivering; answering messages outside business hours, providing free coaching in between sessions, allowing clients to constantly change appointments without charging for lost time, tolerating disrespectful behaviour and saying yes to things you desperately want to say no to. 🤯
Then they wonder why they feel totally exhausted, resentful and like they have nothing left in the tank.
Sound familiar?
You teach people how to treat you: every time you answer that call, say yes instead of no, don’t call out shitty behaviour and don’t remind people of your cancellation policy (if you even have one), you let your clients know they can keep behaving that way.
It’s your responsibility to change that – not theirs. 🤷🏼♀️
Teach your clients that you value your time by having professional policies with clear boundaries in place.
This will also help weed out clients who don’t respect you – because those who do respect you won’t be offended by healthy boundaries.
Actually – that kind of certainty helps them feel safe because they know what to expect, what’s included and where the line is.
When you stop rescuing people, they either find someone else to rescue them or start taking more responsibility for themselves.
Instead of relying on you to solve every problem, they begin using the tools you’ve taught them. 🔧
Instead of calling or messaging every time life gets hard, they learn to self-regulate.
Instead of becoming dependent on you, they become empowered. 🫶🏻
Which is exactly what coaching, healing and personal development should be about.
Some of the best boundaries I’ve ever implemented include:
⏰ Having clear business hours.
💤 Putting my phone in sleep mode if I don’t want to be contacted.
🥰 Setting clear days off including a day off for “Carly time”.
📱 Stating exactly how and when clients can contact me.
💰 Charging appropriately for my time and expertise.
✍🏻 Having cancellation and rescheduling policies.
✋🏼 Refusing to work with people who consistently disrespect my boundaries or who don’t bother using the tools I’ve passed on to them.
🙄 Remembering that someone else’s emergency doesn’t automatically become mine.
I’m also well aware I’m role modelling to my clients – a lot of my work involves learning how to love yourself more and having boundaries is a big part of that.
If I had shitty boundaries, then I’m being a shitty role model to my clients. 💩
If you’re finding yourself exhausted, overwhelmed or starting to resent your clients, it may simply be because you’ve forgotten where you end and they begin.
Your clients are responsible for their healing, their actions and for doing the work.
Your job is to guide, support and facilitate. Not carry them and rescue them from every crisis. 🛟
If you burn yourself out trying to save everyone, eventually you’ll have nothing left to give anyone – including yourself.
Trust me, I’ve been there!
If you need support figuring out how to set boundaries, this is my jam.
DM me and let’s chat about how coaching and/or energy work can help.
Catcha on the flip side, where boundaries without guilt are normal.
