Recently I shared the quote:
“Everyone talks about how hard it is to trust people after you’ve been hurt.
But not many people talk about how hard it is to trust YOURSELF when you’ve had your gut instincts, values and convictions skilfully undermined in a relationship where you’ve been coercively controlled.”
Up until I met my amazing fiancé Cam in 2020, I had a history of relationships where I’d been love bombed, gaslighted, manipulated, coercively controlled and emotionally, mentally and financially abused.
At age 38 after the end of my last relationship before Cam, I felt utterly broken.
I felt so lost, confused and had so many questions about myself. 🥺
I thought I was an intelligent woman – if that’s true, how come I kept getting sucked in time and time again?
Why do I keep attracting users into my life? 🫣
Why do I ignore the red flags? 🚩
Why do I keep hoping things will change?
I’ve done SO much work on myself, what’s left to do for me to break this cycle?? 🔄
It’s true – I’d worked on myself since I was 21 with personal development and energy tools.
But at 38 I had to do some deeper digging into my childhood and why I had such strong core beliefs around rejection and abandonment when I only ever remember being loved as a child. 👧
I also had to pick apart the themes in each relationship.
I realised that in each of them I’d been sucked in by love bombing so I felt comfortable enough to go headfirst into the relationship, ignoring red flags. 🚩
I didn’t take things slow enough before I caught feelings.
I vowed to take things slowly the next time, which I did with Cam.
VERY slowly, with my guard up.
I also kept on by journey of improving my sense of self-worth, self-love and self-esteem; and when I realised Cam was legit an incredible person and partner, I had to do even more work on myself to allow his amazing love in to my life with a few mini freak outs along the way!
I’m so so glad that I finally listened to myself and took my time. 💍💞
Fast forward to now and we have the best life.
And it’s only going to get better! 💫
I’m working on something very special behind the scenes to support those women who have been reading and resonating with my story.
Watch this space… and if you can’t wait for the details then drop me a message and let’s chat.
If you want to know the tools I used to help me grow myself into the kind of person who’ll never let anyone use her or treat her like shit again, comment LOVE and I’ll send you my freebies. ❤️
As always, if you want a guide on your journey, drop me a message and let’s chat about how coaching and/or energy work can help.
Plus come over and join my free group here.
Catcha on the flip side, where we fall in love with ourselves before others.
