No, I don’t mean you actually dating your kid.
When I coach my clients around relationship issues, I find a really good question to ask is whether they’d be happy if their kid (or sibling or someone else they love) was in a relationship similar to their own.
It’s a confronting question and one that generates an immediate response.
We can fart-arse around any other question and smooth things over in our minds about our own involvement in our relationship…. But if you took that same kind of relationship and put your kid in it, how would you feel?
How would you feel if they were communicating with their partner in the same way?
How would you feel if they were allowing themselves to be treated in the way you are?
What would you say to them, what advice would you have?
What would you want for them instead?
Take that information and then apply it to your own life.
What action do you need to take in your relationships?
Do you need;
To verbalise your needs and wants?
To heal the past?
To go for counselling?
Something to think about.
They come to me with a general goal of feeling better because they feel sad, miserable, stuck etc.
Often people can come to realise it’s the relationship they’re in that is no longer bringing out their best self and while they’ve known it deep down for a while, coaching can trigger this truth being revealed.
Which means I’ve been blamed for relationships ending.
It’s not pretty to do this deep kinda work on yourself, but people always end up happier, which was their original goal usually.
Catcha on the flip side,