These days, the bulk of the coaching work I do with clients is around their relationship.
Often, when a client starts working with me for coaching or energy work they come to me with some vague problems around feeling unhappy and discontent with where they’re at in life, but they’re struggling to understand why. 😞
It doesn’t usually take many sessions to realise that they have a serious lack of self-love which is showing up in a lack of boundaries, people-pleasing behaviours, and allowing their partner and other people close to them to treat them like a doormat.
What I see a lot of in people’s relationships are manipulative, intimidating and controlling behaviours. 💔
But the client may not necessarily be willing to call out the behaviours for what they really are.
So recently, I’ve been finding myself comparing the behaviours they’re experiencing in their relationship with what a healthy relationship would look like.
Have a look at the list below and see which bracket your own relationship falls into.
UNHEALTHY
- Name calling, belittling and criticising you
- Disrespecting boundaries
- Ignoring you
- Not willing to confront problems
- Verbal abuse
- Being generally unsupportive of your goals, dreams and desires (unless it serves them in some way to support them)
- Emotional abuse – manipulating/coercing you into doing things to keep the peace
- Treading on eggshells
- Making it all about them when you have wins or challenges
- Gaslighting you – making you think your memories are inaccurate, that things did or didn’t happen
- Isolating you from friends and family
- Checking your phone, emails, social media
- Jealousy and accusations of cheating
- Physical abuse – grabbing, slapping, pushing, choking, hitting
- Threatening to leave or to hurt you, themselves or others, including pets
VS… HEALTHY
- Speaking to you with respect and love even when they’re tired, upset or intoxicated
- Respecting your boundaries and making an effort to understand why those boundaries are important to you
- If they need space, letting you know rather than just ignoring you
- Being willing to confront problems even if they find it difficult
- Making an effort to understand your needs, wants and desires
- Supporting your goals and hobbies even if they don’t share the same interests
- Using open and assertive communication
- Supporting your wins
- Being there for you when you’re struggling
- Feeling secure when you spend time with other people and encouraging you to do what makes you happy
I created a free checklist on how to spot the signs of an abusive relationship as well as steps you can take to protect yourself.
Want it?
Grab it here: abusive relationship checklist
You deserve all the happiness and respect in the world – but if you’re in an unhealthy relationship right now then you may not think that’s true. 🥺
One of the biggest things that helped me leave unhealthy relationships in the past was to learn how to love myself more and set better boundaries – which is what I’m teaching in my 5 Day Love Lab Challenge this week. 💞
We started on Monday, but it’s not too late to join (there’s no fee) and the content will be available for 30 days.
Join here: 5 Day Love Lab
Hope to see you inside the challenge!
As always, if you want a guide on your journey, drop me a message and let’s chat about how coaching and/or energy work can help.
Plus come over and join my free group here.
Catcha on the flip side,
