Last week inside Project Self Worth, we talked about masculinity; healthy vs toxic self-proclaimed “alphas”. 🙄
The difference between the chest-beating, podcast-y, “submit to me, woman” fuckwits and the men that feel safe, grounded, solid. 👌🏻
The kind that doesn’t need to dominate to feel like a man.
After watching the circus on Louis Theroux’s recent doco The Manosphere, it would be very easy to believe those toxic voices represent men as a whole.
They don’t; they’re just louder. 📢
THE PROBLEM ISN’T MEN. IT’S WHAT WE’VE NORMALISED.
We’ve normalised disrespect and called it “banter”,control as “leadership” and emotional shutdown as “strength”.
And we’ve watched an entire corner of the internet turn that into a personality. 😳
But here’s what I teach (and live): abuse is about power and control – NOT love. The moment someone needs to control you to feel powerful… they’ve already told you everything you need to know. 🤷🏼♀️
That’s not healthy masculinity at all; if they feel they have to act this way they’re probably insecure as fuck.
ENTER: THE MEN DOING IT RIGHT 👏
Now let’s talk about the REAL men.
The ones calling this shitty behaviour out.
The ones standing up for women, not talking over them.
Men like:
👌🏻 Dave Kramer
👌🏻 Bigg Winter
👌🏻 Sean Faingold
👌🏻 Dylan Stevens
👌🏻 Adam Cam
👌🏻 XavierTainment
👌🏻 Taylorloveofficial
👌🏻 Jefferson Fisher
👌🏻 Sean Faingold
👌🏻 primal.nordic
These men are self-aware… something that a lot of “alpha” men aren’t.
WHAT HEALTHY MASCULINITY ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE
It’s not flashy, standing next to Lambo’s and wearing rolex watches.
It’s not loud.
It doesn’t need a podcast mic to drag women down to feel better about themselves and their little willies. 🎙️
It looks like:
🫶🏻 Respect (even when they disagree)
🫶🏻 Emotional intelligence (not emotional avoidance)
🫶🏻 Accountability-taking (not externalising blame)
🫶🏻 Protection without control
🫶🏻 Strength without intimidation
They don’t need to shrink a woman to feel like a man.
THIS MATTERS MORE THAN YOU THINK
The men that speak up in a positive way change the culture. 😍
Culture is what shapes what women tolerate, what men think is acceptable and what relationships look like.
AND LADIES… WE DON’T JUST BENEFIT FROM THIS – WE SHAPE IT TOO
If we keep giving attention to toxic men then we keep funding the bullshit. 💩
Algorithms don’t care about your trauma; they care about engagement.
So every time you hate-watch, rage-comment and hare their content “to call it out” – you’re feeding the exact thing you’re sick of.
HOW TO SUPPORT THE RIGHT MEN
- Follow them: fill your feed with voices that actually reflect your values.
- Engage with their content; like, comment, share. That’s how we shift what gets amplified.
- Call out the good, not just the bad. We’re very good at spotting red flags… but let’s start spotlighting green ones too.
- Raise your standards. The more you see healthy masculinity, the less tolerance you’ll have for anything else.
And that’s where your power is. 💪🏻
The goal is to raise the standard so high that toxic masculinity becomes embarrassing instead of aspirational… and the men doing it right become the norm.
Do me a favour please: like, comment and share this post and add in the comments the names or links to any socials of any healthy man doing his bit to stand up against these other fuckwits so we can all follow them! ❤️
If this hit a nerve (in a good way or a “oh shit” way), message me and let’s chat about how coaching and/or energy work can help you become the best version of yourself; the one that attracts only healthy men into your life.
Catcha on the flip side, where only healthy men are hanging out,
