At least once or twice a week I pull clients or friends up about the language they’re using out loud, as well as what they continually tell themselves.
I’m not talking about swearing here, I swear like a trooper! 🤭
I’m talking about those times where you’re focusing on a situation that you’re unsure about; you want it to go a certain way but at the same time you’re putting contradictory messages out to the universe with your language.
“I want ABC… but I’ll probably end up getting XYZ.”
I can clearly see them talking themselves out of focusing on what they really want, and this is sending out mixed messages to the universe (for the Law of Attraction peeps out there… what you focus on is what you get!) 👀
But even if you don’t buy into the whole universe-listening-to-you thing, this still matters.
Because your brain is listening.
Your language shapes your beliefs, and your beliefs shape your behaviour.
If you keep telling yourself:
🌀 “I’ll probably fail.”
🌀 “I’m not very good at that.”
🌀 “People like me never get those opportunities.”
🌀 “It probably won’t work anyway.”
Then guess what happens?
Your brain quietly goes, “Righto boss, got it. No point trying too hard then.”
And before you know it, you start making decisions that line up with the story you’re telling yourself; because you have a theory, and your experience will match that theory so you “prove” it to yourself.
This shows up as you hesitating, playing small, not taking the opportunities, sabotaging the thing that might have worked if you’d actually given it a nudge.
And then you end up with the very result you were afraid of in the first place. 🥺
YOUR WORDS ARE PROGRAMMING YOUR LIFE
A belief is basically just a thought you’ve repeated often enough that your brain starts treating it like a fact.
And the more you repeat that belief, the more your brain filters the world to prove it right.
So if your internal narrator sounds like:
😖 “I’m unlucky in relationships.”
😖 “Money is always hard.”
😖 “I’ll never get ahead.”
😖 “Things never work out for me.”
Your brain will start collecting evidence to back that up.
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Which is why changing your language can literally change your life trajectory.
TRY THIS INSTEAD
Next time you catch yourself saying something that’s the opposite of what you want, pause for a sec.
Then tweak the sentence to use slightly better language.
I’m not talking about being fake about things, just altering your words to something more neutral or positive.
So instead of saying:
❌ “This will probably go badly.”
Try:
✔ “I don’t know how this will turn out, but I’m open to it going well.”
Instead of:
❌ “I’m terrible at this.”
Try:
✔ “I’m still learning this.”
Instead of:
❌ “I always end up with the wrong people.”
Try:
✔ “I’m getting clearer about the kind of people I want in my life.”
See the difference?
You’re not bullshitting yourself.
You’re just not sabotaging yourself anymore.
TAKE NOTE OF THE STORIES YOU REPEAT
Your life is largely shaped by the story you keep telling yourself about who you are, what you’re capable of, what you deserve (and what you THINK you deserve, which can be two very different things) and what’s possible for you.
If your language is constantly reinforcing the idea that you’re stuck, unlucky, incapable, or doomed to repeat the same patterns…then your brain will happily keep delivering that exact experience. 🫣
But the moment you start shifting the story, even a teeny bit – things start to move.
Say hello to new choices, new opportunities, new outcomes. 🤗
And suddenly life doesn’t feel quite so stuck anymore.
Funny how that works.
If you’ve noticed your internal dialogue is constantly running a “life is a bit shit and nothing ever works out for me” script in the background…you’ve just got some outdated programming running the show.
The good news is that you can update the software in your brain just like you update the software on your phone. 📱
Whatever has been learned can also be unlearned, with new, better stuff replacing it.
You – but better. You; version 2.0.
If you’d like help shifting your mindset, your language, and the beliefs that might be quietly (or loudly) holding you back, send me a DM and we can have a chat about what’s going on for you.
Sometimes a few small mindset shifts can create massive changes in how you experience your life.
Catcha on the flip side, where we speak what we REALLY want out loud,
