I was watching MAFS the other day (Married At First Sight for those not in the know), and the couples are nearing the end of the experiment.
The final challenge was for the group of wives to spend the day together, and so did the husbands.
Both groups rock up for their separate lunches and are then told they are going to meet the other person they were matched with. 😳
What unfolded was so interesting; at the moment there are some very solid, l healthy relationships and others that are on the rocks. 🪨
For those relationships that are solid, the wives and husbands were both respectful of the person’s time in that they stayed for a drink with them (in a group with the others too), let them know they were happily matched but were staying to chat out of respect for that person. They said good things about their relationship and the future they hoped to have outside of the experiment.
For those with their relationship on the rocks it was a very different story.
Generally the wives were extremely flirty, sizing up their other potential matches, openly saying they weren’t 100% sure about their current husband and adding the new potential match on social media. They also didn’t say great things about their current partners.
The husbands of those same wives didn’t want to engage in the final challenge at all and the three of them hung out in the toilet together talking about it before heading home. 🏡
When they got home to their partners they debriefed about their day, some showing how secure they are in their relationships, some glossing over any details.
Later each of them received an iPad where they watched how their partner handled the interaction – and then they spoke about it. The amount of defensiveness, deflection and placing blame on their partner for their behaviour that came up was disgusting. 🥺
These are a bunch of wives who say they want to be treated with love and respect and to have a “ride or die”, yet they were caught out slagging off their partner, mocking them and very easily making plans to have someone else to fall back on.
Thinking about your own behaviour, not just in your relationship but any area of your life… if someone you love was to suddenly be given an iPad where they got to see how you spoke about them, how you spoke about others, how you conduct yourself during the day…. would you be proud of how you’ve behaved?
How you behave when nobody is watching says much more about you than the masks you put on during the day based on who you’re interacting with.
It’s the moments of consistency, self-discipline, taking accountability for your actions and what you say, and how you treat people that ultimately defines you.
And if you can’t say for sure whether you’d be proud of how you come across to others, spend some time reflecting on what that’s about and how to change it.
Because at the end of the day, we teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate and how we show up.
If you spend most of your day complaining about every part of your life and blaming other people, and then get given an iPad of someone else doing the exact same things you do and speaking the way you do all day, what would you think of them? 🤔
Something to reflect on, perhaps.
If something in this sparks a desire to become a better version of yourself, drop me a message and let’s chat about how coaching and/or energy work can help.
Catcha on the flip side,
