Recently I read an article written by the gorgeously inspiring Jess Ainscough, otherwise known as The Wellness Warrior. I love Jess’s blogs and I especially loved this one as it focused on SELF LOVE.
Jess talked about every Sunday being a “Self-Centred Sunday” where you basically spend the entire day dedicated to self care and self love. This really resonated for me on a number of levels as this has been a real issue for me up until this year.
Since I can remember I have devoted much of my time to helping other people. So much time in fact, that it is often to my detriment. I found my passion for psychology, counselling and coaching in my late teens, and always seemed to have a knack of being able to say the right thing to my friends and even strangers when they were in need of a shoulder to cry on. Consequently I have usually found myself in roles where I am helping others, and quite often those others are in quite serious crisis situations.
Looking back, there have been a few screamingly obvious times in my life where my body and mind were giving me HUGE warning signs that I needed to stop giving all my energy to others, and redirect it back towards myself in the form of self care and self love. But seriously, back then the thought of spending time working on myself was NOT my idea of fun. And so in the past I have ended up going through several bouts of adrenal fatigue, ended up in hospital, slipped a disc in my back and ended up with depression a couple of times.
For me it has been a case of slowly but surely learning about what it takes for me to nourish my heart and soul so that my energy levels stay topped up. This is still something I am very much working on, but it’s what I have written a chapter on for the next Adventures in Manifesting Book “Soulful Relationships” that will be out later this year.
The later part of this year has become dedicated to Carly time. I am on a 6-12 month mission (or however long it takes) to truly discover what it takes to love and nourish myself. I am doing that in various ways – walks on the beach, a detox/cleanse to eliminate the toxins from my body, lots of meditation, guided visualisations/subliminal CD’s, coaching, exercise, good company, epsom salts baths, reading, and above all, PLENTY of alone time. In the past, the thought of a weekend just spent on my tod would have freaked the freakin’ shit outta me. And yet I find myself in a beautiful part of the world, 5 minutes walk from the beach, with the house so quiet that I can hear my ears ringing. No TV either… and I feel like it’s a blessing to be here, right now, with just myself for company.
My goals for now (and forever) – SELF-LOVE, SELF-RESPECT, and SELF-APPRECIATION are paramount.
So in what ways are you loving (or not), respecting (or not) and appreciating (or not) yourself right now? Jot this down on some paper – which areas of your life are you feeling loved, respected and appreciated? And which areas of your life are you not feeling those things? If you are truly lacking in these feelings within your closest relationships, chances are you are lacking that within yourself. Be honest – if you 100% loved, respected and appreciated yourself, would you allow certain people to treat you the way they do? Or would you stick up for yourself, stand tall for what you believe in and walk away?
For now, have a cup of self-love… and write a list of as many things as you can think of that involve self love, being as indulgent as you like – and then do one of those things as soon as you can.
Trust me, everything in your life will benefit from it.
Are you ready to stop struggling through life? Are you sick of feeling like you’re stuck in survival mode? Come and join my other members who are also on their journey From Surviving To Thriving.
Much love always,
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JamesAugust 1, 2013 at 7:24 pm
Good for you Carly,
I can not claim to have been working in coaching for as long as you, but I have found something similar to be true.
These days self application is what I do the most. While this might have sounded a little selfish at first, I have found that it is actually helping those that I coach too. In a big way, so it’s a real win win!
PS I’m looking forward to experiencing one of your coaching sessions this weekend. I wonder what you have in store for me?
Coach CarlyAugust 1, 2013 at 7:59 pm
It’s funny isn’t it, how we feel “selfish” for spending time on ourselves. But when you do it, you realise how much it benefits you, and in turn those around you – so actually it’s totally self-less! 🙂
Am looking fwd to coaching you James! Hmmm what do I have in store for you….. *mwah-ha-haaaa* 🙂