Every now and then, some situation or another occurs in our life and for whatever reason, things don’t work out quite how you hoped they would.
Now, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. But your reaction to the outcome in that situation is your choice. If you are faced with a less than desirable outcome in a situation, and perhaps were hoping for a completely different result, what do you do in that moment? Do you wallow in self pity, talking about the injustice of it all? Do you go into shut down mode and block everyone and everything out? Or do you reflect on what just happened, take stock and move the hell on?
Obviously I am speaking in extremely broad terms here and it completely depends on the situation you are faced with. But whether a minor setback or a major challenge, you can always deal with it in a positive way to achieve a better outcome for yourself.
Personally, in situations that are quite emotionally charged, despite knowing what I know about positive thinking and what negative thinking does for my body, soul and mind, I still find I need X amount of time to wallow in self pity and allow myself to feel shitty for a while. I believe that if I don’t let myself do that, I am denying/repressing the negative emotions I am feeling in that moment. And I know from past experience that when I repress those negative emotions and don’t deal with them there and then, it bites me in the arse later on and slaps me round the face like a big wet kipper.
So, here’s how I handle it these days:
> I select one trusted person to have a rant to, so I get things off my chest (and when I rant, I do it well – no point holding back!)
> I throw all positive self care strategies out the window, but for a limited amount of time. Basically, I will let myself wallow in it for a short amount of time – usually just a day – before I give myself a kick up the arse, dust myself off and get back to manifesting what I want to happen. Bring out the vat of ice cream, tear jerker movies/music, doona/duvet, violins etc etc
> I reflect on what just happened. Ok, so things didn’t quite work out how I wanted them to/thought they would/were really desperately hoping they would. Am I still alive? Yes. Do I still have all my faculties? Yes. So lady, sort your shit out and find the positives in what just happened
> Make a list of the potential positive outcomes of the challenge I’m facing
> What is the learning experience? What is it that the Universe is trying to tell me?
> Start goal setting around it. Ok, so that didn’t happen… now what? What do I want to happen instead? Create my goals and inspired action steps
> Find resources to help me achieve those steps
> Take inspired action! You name it, I’ll do it – vision boards, cosmic wish lists, positive affirmations, spending time with people who are a positive influence in my life, listening to motivational speakers/audios etc
> Remember to make time for self care strategies… walks on the beach, playing with my puppy/family, enough sleep/rest/good food, meditation, laughter, hugs, and time out
I also always reflect back on all the other times things haven’t worked out for whatever reason or another. When I do that and compare to how my life is now as a consequence, I know that it all happened for a reason and I was given the right outcome at the time. Would I change anything that happened in my past? Probs not. Because it’s all made me who I am today, and I quite like me, really. So, knowing that means that I also know that I will grow, learn and change for the better because of this new challenge, no matter how big it is at the time.
That’s all, folks.
Love n hugs