Recently I posted a story about the four relationships I’ve had in my life that were abusive in some way, and unhealthy in many ways. 💔
It was called “Coercive Control: The Frog That Slowly Boils To Death”. 🐸
I’ve had a few emails from women since then telling me they’ve been wanting to leave their relationship for a while, that they need to get out but they just don’t know how. 🥺
They’re a shell of themselves; they’re mentally and physically exhausted. 🐚
They just can’t seem to find a way to end it.
They feel desperate and alone.
They don’t know who they are anymore.
They don’t know what they want, but they know it’s not this.
They feel like if they could just heal themselves and muster the strength to leave, then they would. ❤️🩹
If this is where you’re at right now, please know you’re far from alone.
I know you feel very alone right now – I did too, when I was in the same place you’re in.
But the reality is there are SO. MANY. PEOPLE. in the same boat right now. 🛶
Drowning, waiting to be saved.
The hard truth is, nobody will come to save you if they don’t know what’s going on.
This is also a part of these kinds of relationships – you’ve been isolating yourself from those who love you, scared they’ll judge you if they knew the truth. 🫣
“Why am I letting you comfort me?” she said.
He stared over her head.
“Because I’ve made sure you have no one else to turn to”.
– Kresley Cole, Lothaire
You’re also trapping yourself thinking you need to get the energy first to leave – because they are energy vampires and they’ll keep sucking the life out of you – by staying, you’re giving them the straw to do that. 🧛
Here’s the reality.
There’s no right time to leave.
The best time to leave an unhealthy relationship is before it starts.
The energy will come – after you’ve left.
There’s also a caveat to this – a woman is 70 times more likely to be killed by her partner when she leaves.
You read that right – SEVEN-ZERO. Not 17.
Seventy.
So if you’re feeling scared about leaving, even if you’ve never been physically abused by them, don’t feel like you’re crazy for feeling that way.
If you think you may be in danger when you leave, please listen to your gut feeling.
Reach out to someone for help during this time – if you feel there’s nobody close to you that you can reach out to, there are many services that support women escaping domestic violence – do a google search to find out who is in your area (please do this from a secure device if you think they may be looking at your personal devices). 📱
Feel free to reach out to me.
Create a safety plan for yourself on how to leave safely that also considers pets and children if that’s relevant for you. 🐕
I have one I can send you (drop me a message and I’ll send you the link), or google it, again there are many resources online.
Please know that the sooner you leave, the better – but it’s imperative you take your safety seriously.
There are so many services available to help you, so start doing your research and arming yourself with information.
Once again, you’re not alone.
I’m here for you. You’ve got this.
Sending you a huge amount of love,
