I was just reflecting on a conversation I was having with a new client last week. He’s in a pretty bad way, he’s very depressed and he’s attempted suicide a number of times now.
To watch the video on YouTube click here.
During this initial call we had, he mentioned how many people had talked to him about positive thinking – you know, “just think positively.”
I know a lot of people who are depressed, or who are feeling sad or low or in crappy feeling states, who are pretty over people telling them to just think positively, lighten up.
As a Law of Attraction Coach I’m all about thinking positively, and people who know me will know I’m a huge advocate of positive thinking.
However, I got to a stage with my own training and my own self development where I thought “what happens when you feel like absolute shit? What then?” I don’t believe in positive thinking then, because it’s hard to get there from there.
So, what I said to this new client was “I’m NOT going to be telling you to think positively – I’m not that Coach.”
I’m not that Coach who, when you’re feeling like absolute death warmed up, will say “just think positively.” Because I don’t believe in that.
What I do believe in is soothing yourself. Just like you’d soothe a child – if your kid fell over and hurt their knee, how you’d soothe them. Or if you’d soothe them if they’re feeling upset.
You soothe yourself.
So when you’re in that really dark, crappy, negative place, you just focus on soothing yourself. It’s about baby steps and moving forward in tiny little incremental steps. It’s not about trying to go from suicidal to feeling amazing, because that’s just way too big a jump.
It’s not possible.
So instead just try saying “ok, so I don’t know how anything is going to work out right now, but it will, I know that I’m looked after, I know that somehow I’ll get through today,” and just really soothe yourself through it.
When you’re feeling neutral – that’s when you can do positive thinking.
But until then, don’t worry about it when people tell you to think positively.
You can soothe yourself and be neutral about things, and ask yourself curious questions like “how can it get better than this? How can it get even better than this for me right now? What’s one thing that I can do right now to help myself feel a bit better than I do right now?”
Ask yourself questions like that.
It might be something really simple like getting out of bed, drinking some water, looking at the ocean or a picture of the ocean – it can be something really tiny that’s a positive step for you – just start really small.
When you feel neutral or like you have the energy to move forward a bit more then you can implement Law of Attraction stuff, like positive thinking and other tools like that.
I have a group on Facebook called From Surviving to Thriving and this is a supportive group which is all about helping those who are going through a rough time, or for people who’ve been through a rough time in the past and who want to share what helped them through it with others.
Feel free to request to join the group and I’ll approve you – it’s a private group, nobody can see what you post in there. I started this group to help you move through questions you might have or tough times you’re going through, and when everyone around you seems to be telling you what to do and you just need someone to talk to, even a complete stranger will do – I’m here.
Are you ready to stop struggling through life? Are you sick of feeling like you’re stuck in survival mode? Come and join the members of my online program who are also on their journey From Surviving To Thriving.
Please share this video with those you think need to hear it.
Catcha on the flip side,
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Anne-Marie McDermottJuly 28, 2016 at 7:16 pm
Awesome article honey xxx love it…
Coach CarlyJuly 29, 2016 at 3:51 pm
Thanks gorgeous! xx