Everybody gets depressed – lighten up and crack a smile

How many times have you heard someone use the term “I’m depressed,” without actually being diagnosed as clinically depressed? 😔

The term gets bandied around quite loosely as though it’s something we all go through.

This pisses me off because it downplays what true depression feels like – those who’ve never had it think you can “just cheer up”.

Sure, ups and downs in mood are totally normal and a part of responding to situations in life.

But clinical depression is something very much more real, and much more serious; and people using the term depression so loosely can really invalidate what it really means. 🥺

Nobody goes around saying “I feel a bit schizophrenic today” do they?

With a background in psychology and forensic psychology, when I started working with people with mental health issues I could have written a thesis on what depression was, possible causes, treatments etc.

I also had a fair bit of experience with close family and friends who had clinical depression, some who had attempted suicide, some who had taken their own lives.

But it wasn’t until I experienced depression myself that I really could understand the nuts and bolts of it.

Coming out of an intense few years of quite a traumatic period in my life in 2010, with a number of different experiences happening in that time, had a snowball effect. 🥹

I’m a very resilient person, but at the time I had slipped a disc in my back and was signed off work for over 4 months.

I wasn’t able to exercise for a lot of that time, which is my number one stress-reliever.

On the outside I carried on almost as normal, still going out and seeing friends.

I was present physically, but not mentally, and kept it hidden for a lot of the time, but my close friends could see I wasn’t the same and really started taking care of me.

I was fortunate enough to be loved unconditionally by these few people. 🥰

Working in mental health, I know many people aren’t as fortunate and don’t have friends or family that support them through it.

Inside I felt like my soul was dying. Like my brain was melting. 🧠

The sparkle in my eyes was gone.

There was no colour in the world anymore… everything looked grey to me. 🌧️

I usually love reading but I couldn’t even absorb the words of one sentence let alone remember it.

My memory was shocking and I felt really guilty about not remembering things that people would tell me, like what they were doing for the weekend.

Silly stuff, insignificant stuff, would play on my mind constantly. 🤯

I felt guilty and ashamed all the time, felt like a waste of space, and didn’t understand why anyone would want me around.

I scared myself with my thoughts and I was terrified about how long this feeling would last.

One day felt like a week, and each day I woke up, I wished I hadn’t. 🫣

It took me a while to accept my Doctor’s diagnosis… “you have depression.” 😶‍🌫️

I kept saying “no I don’t,” but finally admitted it to myself one day when I realised I couldn’t read anymore, it was like my brain had melted. 🫠

You get really sick of hearing things like “what’s the matter with you?” or “cheer up, might never happen!” like it’s that easy to get over it.

When you haven’t experienced depression it’s easy to think like that too.

But I seriously had no inkling that it was like it was, until I experienced it myself.

Having previously been in a relationship with a guy who had a diagnosis of bipolar I really started rethinking how I acted towards him when he was depressed. 😢

Clinical depression is a serious mental illness.

It isn’t just someone having a bad day, or week or month, or someone who just needs to “lighten up.”

I remember my housemates sitting me down for a “house meeting” to talk about the fact I wasn’t taking the rubbish out, when seriously I didn’t even want to wake up every morning, the last thing I gave a sh*t about was taking the rubbish out. 🚮

But it didn’t stop me dwelling on that conversation for a loooong time and feeling really guilty about what a crappy person I was to live with.

Things we say matter to people.

And when people loosely talk about “being depressed” when they are just feeling a bit sad, low or down in the dumps, really doesn’t help validate someone who is actually clinically depressed.

Depression is a very complex topic and there are varying degrees of it.

To find out more, or to get some support, check out https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Support is out there, I know it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help, but there are some awesome, loving people out there who really want to help you.

All you need to do is ask.

And for those wondering about a friend who you think is suffering… start with the simple words “are you ok?”

If you don’t have anyone else to reach out to, feel free to reach out to me. 🫂

Big hugs n love to you