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Browsing Tag

needs

18 life lessons from a helper (recovering rescuer-enabler) type

After spending most of my life helping others, and often (in the past) to my detriment, I thought I’d share some learnings that I wish someone had shared with me. ❤️‍🩹   PEOPLE CAN CHANGE, BUT WE CAN’T CHANGE THEM   As a helper type it’s so natural to want to dive in and help people we see in need, especially those closest to us. 🥹   We do this because we believe everyone has the capacity to change; over…

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Would you rather be an eagle or a duck?

There’s a great analogy in the world of biz and leadership that talks about how to spot whether people are eagles or ducks (most peeps are ducks, I call them sheeples).Ducks…🦆 quack and complain🦆 walk around in their own shit🦆 spend a lot of their time at ground level🦆 ducks are everywhere🦆 they follow the crowd, walking in a straight line looking neither left nor right so they can’t look outside their own limits🦆 they’re easy to control🦆 they do…

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How to deal with someone who is always playing the victim

I was sat next to an older lady getting her nails done the other day. About 5 minutes after I sat down to get mine done she starts telling me all about her life.An hour later I knew she’d had a heart attack 8 years ago and that’s why she was sweating so much, she has a pacemaker and recently she broke her finger saving a puppy and now can’t feel any pain in that hand – I also knew…

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You must master your environment before you depart it

I was listening to a podcast the other day and the interviewee was talking about the best piece of advice he ever received from a mentor.“You must master your environment before you depart it.”There are times where this isn’t possible or safe to do so – for example, in a situation of domestic violence.But the statement got me thinking about how a lot of us will jump from one similar situation to another, never learning the lessons and so repeating…

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Would you rather be in pain than spend time alone with yourself?

I was listening to a Jay Shetty video the other day and he quoted a study where people were given the option of either sitting in a room with their own thoughts for 15 minutes, or giving themselves an electric shock.60% of men and 30% of women gave themselves a shock, rather than spend 15 minutes alone with their own head.Which would you choose?I know so many people who would really struggle to sit alone and do nothing for that…

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We are all just trying to fill our unmet needs

I work with clients from all kinds of backgrounds.With a lot of people that have had the kind of upbringing most people would prefer to not know was possible.Drug addicts.The homeless.People with a hectic criminal record.Something they all have in common is that no matter how broken they seem to society, they are all survivors.Survivors of abuse of all kinds.Survivors of self-harm and suicide attempts.Survivors of neglect and lives without love.They are also no different from anyone else in many…

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