“Relationships take work.” Well yep, that’s true, but there IS a difference between two people working on a healthy relationship and people disguising emotional damage as effort. The latter leads to slowly becoming a shell of yourself. 🐚 All relationships have challenges. Hard conversations, disagreements and growing pains are normal. But if you constantly feel anxious, confused, or like you’re the only one trying to fix things, that’s not “just a rough patch.” That’s a red flag. 🚩 …
We’re taught to fear our breakdowns. To see every crack as a flaw. Every emotional collapse as failure. But what if the breakdown isn’t the end… what if it’s the beginning? I was in a workshop years ago where a psychologist spoke about Post Traumatic Growth – and showed an image of a shattered bowl repaired with gold, called Kintsukuroi. It’s the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold or silver lacquer, not to hide the damage, but…
Do you ever feel like you are getting in your own way? Like you’ll be in a good place in your life, reaching for your goals, and then the shit hits the fan? 🪭 We all do this occasionally, and some do it repeatedly. We sabotage ourselves because our fears get in the way, and we want to rescue ourselves from these fears and negative feelings that come up. 😖 I was explaining this to a client last week…
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to spot when your mate is self-sabotaging themselves, but how when it’s you doing the same thing, you justify your behaviour? 🤔 You tell yourself you’re just keeping the peace, “letting it go”, “being chill” or compromising, being kind or “holding space”. But are you actually just abandoning yourself by people-pleasing, letting them walk all over you and having shitty boundaries? You abandon yourself every time you: 🌀 Say yes when…
Are you aware of the power of the words you’re using day in and day out? 🗣️ I was listening to my coach talk about this on her podcast The Mind School where she was interviewing a psychologist who said the term “experiencing depression” instead of “struggling with depression“. A lot of people wouldn’t pick up on the intentional change in wording there, but this is something I do too. By changing the way you word things, you’re changing…
1. Avoid blaming someone or something else for your negative feelings. Nothing and nobody has the power to control how you think and feel unless you let it. 2. Don’t blame yourself for not being in control. You’re doing the best you can. 3. Be aware of when you’re playing the victim role. Learn the clues that tell you when you’re not being responsible for what you’re being/doing/having/feeling. 4. Get to know your biggest energy –…