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This is beautiful ~ take the time to read it

 

 

my brain and

heart divorced

 

a decade ago

 

over who was

to blame about

how big a mess

I have become

 

eventually,

they couldn’t be

in the same room

with each other

 

now my head and heart

share custody of me

 

I stay with my brain

during the week

 

and my heart

gets me on weekends

 

they never speak to one another

instead they give me

the same note to pass

to each other every week

and their notes they

send to one another always

says the same thing:

 

“This is all your fault”

 

on Sundays

my heart complains

about how my

head has let me down

in the past

 

and on Wednesday

my head lists all

of the times my

heart has screwed

things up for me

in the future

 

they blame each

other for the

state of my life

 

there’s been a lot

of yelling – and crying

 

so,

 

lately, I’ve been

spending a lot of

time with my gut

who serves as my

unofficial therapist

 

most nights, I sneak out of the

window in my rib cage

 

and slide down my spine

and collapse on my

gut’s plush leather chair

that’s always open for me

 

~ and I just sit sit sit sit

until the sun comes up

 

last evening

my gut asked me

if I was having a hard

time being caught

between my heart

and my head

 

I nodded

 

I said I didn’t know

if I could live with

either of them anymore

 

“my heart is always sad about

something that happened yesterday

while my head is always worried

about something that may happen tomorrow”

I lamented

 

my gut squeezed my hand

 

“I just can’t live with

my mistakes of the past

or my anxiety about the future”

I sighed

 

my gut smiled and said

 

“in that case,

you should

go stay with your

lungs for a while”

 

I was confused

the look on my face gave it away

“if you are exhausted about

your heart’s obsession with

the fixed past and your mind’s focus

on the uncertain future

 

your lungs are the perfect place for you

 

there is no yesterday in your lungs

there is no tomorrow there either

 

there is only one

there is only inhale

there is only exhale

there is only this moment

 

there is only breath

 

and in that breath

you can rest while your

heart and head work

their relationship out”

 

this morning

while my brain

was busy reading

tea leaves

 

and while my

heart was staring

at old photographs

 

I packed a little

bag and walked

to the door of

my lungs

 

before I could even knock

she opened the door

with a smile and as

a gust of air embraced me

she said

 

“what took you so long?”

 

John Roedel (johnroedel.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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