Most of us in life experience at least one relationship that becomes toxic for us. I’ve had my share of long term relationships that were abusive and codependent where I ended up as a shell of who I was. 😶🌫️ Leaving is hard because you’ve lost all confidence in who you are as a person. Toxic people show traits of narcissism and borderline personality disorder among other things; they have attachment issues from childhood which…
1. Avoid blaming someone or something else for your negative feelings. Nothing and nobody has the power to control how you think and feel unless you let it. 2. Don’t blame yourself for not being in control. You’re doing the best you can. 3. Be aware of when you’re playing the victim role. Learn the clues that tell you when you’re not being responsible for what you’re being/doing/having/feeling. 4. Get to know your biggest energy –…
I was listening to an awesome Lewis Howes podcast recently where the interviewee was describing the reactions of narcissists to certain things. One of the things she said was “never tell a narcissist your good news first”. Tell your cheerleaders first – the people in your life who love and support you unconditionally so you can continue to feel good and celebrate for a while. The reason for this is that they’ll turn any bit…
I heard on a podcast the other day, “enabling comes in many forms”. How true that is. enabler /ɪˈneɪblə,ɛˈneɪblə/ A person who encourages or enables negative or self-destructive behaviour in another. I’ve spent many years in the past enabling others to continue to treat me in a certain way, or continue a certain pattern of behaviour without setting boundaries. I’ve enabled people to continue an addiction. I’ve enabled people to continue living in…
I love this quote by Ernest Hemingway; “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.” Reminds me of a blog I wrote on kintsukuroi, a Japanese technique where they take broken items and piece them back together with gold, the idea being that we are more beautiful for having been broken. The most amazing people I’ve ever met are those who truly know what it is to feel broken, and to learn, heal and…
It doesn’t matter who you are, or how successful you are – we all have shit from our past that can keep us stuck. Old, core wound shit that has led to feelings of being unlovable, unworthy, useless, stupid, not good enough. The core wound shit that has attracted people, situations and relationships into our lives that “prove” that we aren’t good enough over and over – until we do the work to heal our wounds. This stuff happens to all of us on some…