I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my past relationships, learning the lessons I was given along the way. Between the ages of 17 and 38, a good chunk of those years were spent in relationships where I was cheated on many times, manipulated, coercively controlled, financially and emotionally abused, deprived of my liberty at times and slowly but surely turned into a shell of my former self with a very broken heart. When I…
Today I paid my deposit on my second block of land, not far from the beach. I’ve been itching to build again since I built my first home by the ocean in 2015/16. But rewind from here to the end of 2018, and I felt like I was in a hole. I’d been in a long term relationship where I’d been taken advantage of financially for a very long time. I found myself with my house in mortgage…
I’ve never really believed in the old saying “two halves make a whole”. It never really made sense to me. Don’t two whole people make a better partnership? If you’re half a person then you’re always looking for someone else to meet your needs instead of you being able to fill your cup without external sources. When I was in my 20’s, I remember the feeling of looking at a whole weekend with no plans.…
Sometimes I feel an almost overwhelming sadness about how much time I’ve wasted in relationships with men who didn’t deserve my love and time. And then I reflect on all the lessons I’ve learned and realise they all got me to where I am today. As I fast approach 40, I’m in an amazing place in my life where for maybe the first time ever there is a sense of balance and happiness in every single area of…
I saw the above title in a quote this week, and it really triggered a big reflection for me. A reflection on how many times in the past I’ve done exactly that – let the unacceptable become the acceptable. How in the past I’ve allowed myself to be treated with disrespect due to my own shitty boundaries. How I’ve allowed others to emotionally abuse me – some for years. How I gave my energy and power away on the…
After I posted my blog “5 signs you’re dating a toxic person” a friend reached out as she was getting ready to leave her relationship. PLEASE NOTE I’m not talking about abusive relationships here. While all abusive relationships are toxic, not all toxic relationships are abusive. Toxic relationships are full of constant drama, manipulation, negativity and an endless push-pull cycle. Abusive relationships are all of the above but are much more dangerous and leaving them is a risk factor –…