I was lucky enough not to grow up like this, but a lot of peeps I know did. Did you grow up in a home where constant yelling was seen as normal? 🗣️ While this may be common, it’s not normal. This way of communicating activates our nervous system into “fight, flight or freeze” mode. 😳 This will turn affect how you handle conflict as an adult, especially in your own relationships. If…
No, I don’t mean you actually dating your kid. When I coach my clients around relationship issues, I find a really good question to ask is whether they’d be happy if their kid (or sibling or someone else they love) was in a relationship similar to their own. It’s a confronting question and one that generates an immediate response. We can fart-arse around any other question and smooth things over in our minds about our…
Have you ever said or done something in the heat of the moment when you were emotionally charged, that you wish you could have taken back? The old saying of “sleep on it, because it will look different in the morning” comes into play here. When we’re scared, angry or upset, a part of our brain kicks in that’s way more primal than the logical, rational side of our brain. Our amygdala is where our emotional…
Imagine if you stored every putrid smell you’d ever smelled in a room in your house – what would it smell like? Would you want to hang out in there? Would you try and avoid going in there at all costs? This is a bit like what we do with storing old hurts and traumas in our mind. Over time, if we actively choose not to heal old wounds, they become infected and stinky. …
It’s normal for us to want those we love the most to be supportive of our goals. But sometimes, this isn’t our reality. Recently a member of my online course asked me, “what do I do if my partner isn’t on board with my goals?” It totally depends on what the context is around this. We all have our own personal goals, as well as shared goals with our partner and family. But sometimes…
Are you in conflict with your values? Knowing what I now know about my values, it’s easy to see why certain situations in my life were stressful or painful for me. My most important value is integrity, and I’ve felt really tested when I’ve seen a lack of integrity around me, or when I’ve been out of integrity myself. When we’re in conflict with our most important values it can really do our head in – we mull over the…