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Browsing Tag

conflict

Strategies for healthy boundaries when dealing with victim mindsets

  I was once sat next to an older lady while we both got our nails done.  About five minutes after I sat down to get mine done she starts telling me all about her life. An hour later I knew she’d had a heart attack eight years ago and that’s why she was sweating so much, she has a pacemaker and recently she broke her finger saving a puppy and now can’t feel any pain in that hand –…

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One of the best questions you can ever ask yourself

  I was chatting to a Reiki client the other day about some relationship and work issues she was having.  I asked her a question that I ask a lot of my clients, and ask myself a lot, which I believe is actually one of the best questions you could ever ask yourself. “If I truly loved, honoured, trusted and respected myself, what would I not be putting up with? If I completely loved and respected myself, and prioritised my…

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17 Traits of high functioning codependents

  I was listening to Danny Morel interview therapist Terri Cole this week and she was listing out the traits of high functioning codependents (HFC’s) and my brain said: OMG THAT’S MEEEEEE!!! 😳 ⚡️  Well, it’s the version of me from the past but I consider myself “in recovery” (I still need to keep myself in check at times). HFC’s exhibit codependent traits while still managing to perform well in many areas of their lives.  While they may seem successful…

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Did you grow up in a home with constant yelling?

    I was lucky enough not to grow up like this, but a lot of peeps I know did.    Did you grow up in a home where constant yelling was seen as normal? 🗣️   While this may be common, it’s not normal.    This way of communicating activates our nervous system into “fight, flight or freeze” mode. 😳   This will turn affect how you handle conflict as an adult, especially in your own relationships.   If…

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How would you feel if your kid was dating you?

    No, I don’t mean you actually dating your kid.   When I coach my clients around relationship issues, I find a really good question to ask is whether they’d be happy if their kid (or sibling or someone else they love) was in a relationship similar to their own.   It’s a confronting question and one that generates an immediate response.   We can fart-arse around any other question and smooth things over in our minds about our…

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When emotions are high, intelligence is low

  Have you ever said or done something in the heat of the moment when you were emotionally charged, that you wish you could have taken back?   The old saying of “sleep on it, because it will look different in the morning” comes into play here.   When we’re scared, angry or upset, a part of our brain kicks in that’s way more primal than the logical, rational side of our brain.   Our amygdala is where our emotional…

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