I’m reading a book at the moment which has been on my to-read list for SO long; The Body Keeps the Score by Bessell Van Der Kolk. At the moment I’m reading a section about safety and reciprocity, about how being able to feel safe with other people is “probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives”. Numerous studies have found that social support is the…
Yesterday my amazing fiancé turned 40 🥳 I’d ordered a special yummy personalised cake for him and went to pick it up on Monday. It was a stinking hot day ~ 37 degrees as I drove to get it. 🥵 As the cake maker brought it out, she looked utterly devastated and embarrassed saying due to the heat in her kitchen the cake hadn’t set properly. She said she could fix it but needed…
Most of us in life experience at least one relationship that becomes toxic for us. I’ve had my share of long term relationships that were abusive and codependent where I ended up as a shell of who I was. 😶🌫️ Leaving is hard because you’ve lost all confidence in who you are as a person. Toxic people show traits of narcissism and borderline personality disorder among other things; they have attachment issues from childhood which…
I read an amazing post today written by a survivor of an abusive relationship which I really resonated with. She talked about her behaviours in that relationship that other people would have judged her for – drinking to self-medicate, feeling unhappy, not being her best self. She said that some friends didn’t get it as they didn’t see the lie she was living, with others seeing him as Mr Nice Guy and her the Drunken Idiot. …
I was listening to an amazing, inspirational podcast interview the other day on “I Catch Killers with Gary Jubelin”. Gary was interviewing Khalid Baker, who was convicted of a murder he’s always maintained he never committed. He was only 18 and went on to spend 13 years in prison. He talked about how he could have let anger consume him, but this would have led him to staying stuck. He knew the system would…
Do you agree with this statement? On a daily basis I work with clients who struggle to manage their emotions. Some are completely disconnected from them and have a hard time knowing how to even state what emotion they are feeling other than simply “good” or “bad”. Being completely disconnected is often a protection mechanism – they feel they might unlock Pandora’s box and face all the shit they’re avoiding if they start to delve into…