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anger

Codependent no more

  I seem to be having a lot of conversations lately about codependent relationships. Firstly, it’s important to know that even strong, independent people end up in codependent relationships. I know this first hand after being in many codependent relationships myself, even though I consider myself a very independent person. WHERE DOES IT ALL START? As a kid, if you’ve experienced the following things it leaves you way more likely to find yourself in codependent relationships as an adult: 😢…

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Try this to release past hurts

    We all have emotional baggage from our past that holds us back from achieving our goals and being our best self.    One of my favourite things to do is to help others uncover what’s holding them back so they can become the best version of themselves.   Out of the hundreds of tools I’ve learned along the way, forgiveness work is my number one go-to if I’m stuck.   The first forgiveness technique I learned was taught…

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The body keeps the score

    I’m reading a book at the moment which has been on my to-read list for SO long; The Body Keeps the Score by Bessell Van Der Kolk.   At the moment I’m reading a section about safety and reciprocity, about how being able to feel safe with other people is “probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives”.   Numerous studies have found that social support is the…

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Laugh or cry ~it’s your choice

    Yesterday my amazing fiancé turned 40 🥳   I’d ordered a special yummy personalised cake for him and went to pick it up on Monday.    It was a stinking hot day ~ 37 degrees as I drove to get it. 🥵    As the cake maker brought it out, she looked utterly devastated and embarrassed saying due to the heat in her kitchen the cake hadn’t set properly.   She said she could fix it but needed…

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How I survived leaving toxic relationships ☠️

    Most of us in life experience at least one relationship that becomes toxic for us.    I’ve had my share of long term relationships that were abusive and codependent where I ended up as a shell of who I was. 😶‍🌫️   Leaving is hard because you’ve lost all confidence in who you are as a person.   Toxic people show traits of narcissism and borderline personality disorder among other things; they have attachment issues from childhood which…

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Love yourself so much that when you get treated like sh1t you recognise it

    How would your life be if you truly loved, honoured and respected yourself?   If you honoured your needs each day?   If you lived in integrity with your values in each moment?   I find this is a really useful – and often – confronting question to ask my clients, one they get pretty immediate answers to.   I work with a lot of very natural “helper” types – I’m one of those too.   There can…

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