After spending most of my life helping others, and often (in the past) to my detriment, I thought I’d share some learnings that I wish someone had shared with me. ❤️🩹 PEOPLE CAN CHANGE, BUT WE CAN’T CHANGE THEM As a helper type it’s so natural to want to dive in and help people we see in need, especially those closest to us. 🥹 We do this because we believe everyone has the capacity to change; over…
After I posted my blog “5 signs you’re dating a toxic person” a friend reached out as she was getting ready to leave her relationship. PLEASE NOTE I’m not talking about abusive relationships here. While all abusive relationships are toxic, not all toxic relationships are abusive. Toxic relationships are full of constant drama, manipulation, negativity and an endless push-pull cycle. Abusive relationships are all of the above but are much more dangerous and leaving them is a risk factor –…
There’s a great analogy in the world of biz and leadership that talks about how to spot whether people are eagles or ducks (most peeps are ducks, I call them sheeples).Ducks…🦆 quack and complain🦆 walk around in their own shit🦆 spend a lot of their time at ground level🦆 ducks are everywhere🦆 they follow the crowd, walking in a straight line looking neither left nor right so they can’t look outside their own limits🦆 they’re easy to control🦆 they do…
Are you in a relationship (or friendship) where there seems to be a lot of drama that leaves you confused?You might be dating a toxic person.IN AN ARGUMENT THEY LOOK TO INFLICT DAMAGE NOT SOLVE PROBLEMSThey do this because they’re trying to protect themselves from a perceived threat to themselves or to the relationship.If you’re showing signs of being independent – such as going out with your friends without them – they won’t show their vulnerability to you.If they’re feeling…
A codependent relationship is a love addiction where we seek to prove our worth by helping people with broken wings.We’re drawn to addicts and under-functioners who’ll depend on us emotionally, financially or in some other way.Many of us who find ourselves in this kind of relationship have a history of neglect, abuse, or family addiction in our childhood.If we aren’t allowed to show our feelings to the adults around us, or how we felt wasn’t validated, this leads to limiting…
I saw a very thought provoking quote by Russell Brand (love him) the other day that is so true. “Cannabis isn’t a gateway drug. Alcohol isn’t a gateway drug. Nicotine isn’t a gateway drug. Caffeine isn’t a gateway drug. Trauma is the gateway. Childhood abuse is the gateway. Molestation is the gateway. Neglect is the gateway. Drug abuse, violent behaviour, hyper sexuality and self-harm are often the symptoms (not the cause) of much bigger issues. And…