I love this quote by Ernest Hemingway; “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.” Reminds me of a blog I wrote on kintsukuroi, a Japanese technique where they take broken items and piece them back together with gold, the idea being that we are more beautiful for having been broken. ❤️🩹 The most amazing people I’ve ever met are those who truly know what it is to feel broken, and to learn, heal and grow in…
I was listening to Danny Morel interview therapist Terri Cole this week and she was listing out the traits of high functioning codependents (HFC’s) and my brain said: OMG THAT’S MEEEEEE!!! 😳 ⚡️ Well, it’s the version of me from the past but I consider myself “in recovery” (I still need to keep myself in check at times). HFC’s exhibit codependent traits while still managing to perform well in many areas of their lives. While they may seem successful…
Recently I shared the quote: “Everyone talks about how hard it is to trust people after you’ve been hurt. But not many people talk about how hard it is to trust YOURSELF when you’ve had your gut instincts, values and convictions skilfully undermined in a relationship where you’ve been coercively controlled.” Up until I met my amazing fiancé Cam in 2020, I had a history of relationships where I’d been love bombed, gaslighted, manipulated, coercively controlled and emotionally, mentally…
#reflection I’m so grateful to myself. Grateful I worked so hard at working on building my sense of self worth, self love and self esteem after I let partners who didn’t deserve my love tear it to shreds. 💔 Grateful I kept building my self love when I met Cam because I felt panicky letting his amazing kind of love in. 🫣 I didn’t/couldn’t trust it at first. After a history of challenging relationships where I was let down…
When I coach my clients around relationship issues, I find a really good question to ask is whether they’d be happy if their kid (or sibling or someone else they love) was in a relationship similar to their own. 🧐 It’s a confronting question and one that generates an immediate response. We can fart-arse around any other question and smooth things over in our minds about our own relationship…. but if you took that same kind of…
I get emails and messages all the time saying “OMG woman, I feel like you’re speaking directly to me”! My fave is one long term client and friend who says “Carly, you’re in my brain again” 😂😂😂 You know why this is? Because I am! With so many of the things I write about, I was once there too. 🥹 Abusive, codependent, toxic relationships. 💔 So broke I couldn’t buy loo roll one week. Being a people pleaser, saying…