One of the most fucking annoying people tell survivors of toxic, abusive and narcissistic relationships is: “Just get over it” … as if what you endured was only a bad breakup. 😳 Like you can wake up one morning, decide you’re done thinking about them, and magically move on. But when you’ve spent months or years in a relationship involving manipulation, coercive control, gaslighting, trauma bonding and emotional abuse, they didn’t just hurt your feelings. They totally changed the…
You’re second guessing your own feelings. 😔 You feel hurt by the way they treat you, and wonder if you’re just overreacting. You feel uncomfortable with what they’ve said to you, but tell yourself you’re being too sensitive. You KNOW in your gut that something is off, and has been for ages… but you gaslight yourself and convince yourself otherwise. 💨💡 So you continue to minimise, justify and rationalise their words, their actions, their lack…
(The real reason why you’re falling out of love) We don’t talk nearly enough about the papercuts that we get in our relationship. Not the big, dramatic blow ups that make you pack a bag and storm out like you’re in some trashy MAFS scene. 😤 No, I’m talking about the little moments. The raised voice. The “you’re being too sensitive.” 🥺 The important thing you had on today that they couldn’t be arsed to ask about. The “not now”…
I don’t watch MAFS generally but one of my friends was very insistent this week that I watch what’s unfolding with dickhead (whoops, I mean Adrian) and Awhina, so I set myself up a 9 now account and got stuck into some clips. 🤔 My friend started out as a client quite a while ago now and back then knew nothing about coercive control and domestic abuse. After quite a few sessions together, I’m proud to say she’s regularly…
It was November 2018. I woke up on the floor after sleeping in a room in my house that I used as my office, instead of sleeping in my bedroom, where he was sleeping. I felt scared, afraid to leave the room and confront the situation ahead of me, treading on eggshells as always and feeling like a shell of my former self. 🐚 It wasn’t unusual to be met with passive aggressiveness, being completely ignored…
I was listening to a podcast about domestic abuse yesterday. The woman being interviewed works in the field with survivors + training professionals. She was sharing her experience of her own abusive relationship + the shame she felt being in one while also working in the field, as well as how it changed her work. It brought up so many parallels for me that I wanted to share. I never share this stuff from…