“Why doesn’t she just leave?” 🤷🏼♀️ This question shows such a lack of insight into what it’s like to be in a coercively controlling relationship – but it’s one that gets asked every time another domestic violence story hits the news. Why the fuck did she stay? Why did she go back after she left? Why did she let them treat her like that? How did she miss the red flags? 🚩 But a better question is: what’s happening to…
I’ve had a lot of new people follow my content lately so I thought it was time to re-introduce myself! 👋🏼 The woman I am today has run a business as a coach and energy practitioner/Reiki teacher for 21 years. Alongside that, I spent 18 years as a parole officer across London, Sydney and Perth, specialising in serious family violence. I’m in an incredible, loving and supportive relationship with the best human I’ve ever met. 🥰 And most days I’m…
One of the most fucking annoying people tell survivors of toxic, abusive and narcissistic relationships is: “Just get over it” … as if what you endured was only a bad breakup. 😳 Like you can wake up one morning, decide you’re done thinking about them, and magically move on. But when you’ve spent months or years in a relationship involving manipulation, coercive control, gaslighting, trauma bonding and emotional abuse, they didn’t just hurt your feelings. They totally changed the…
You’re second guessing your own feelings. 😔 You feel hurt by the way they treat you, and wonder if you’re just overreacting. You feel uncomfortable with what they’ve said to you, but tell yourself you’re being too sensitive. You KNOW in your gut that something is off, and has been for ages… but you gaslight yourself and convince yourself otherwise. 💨💡 So you continue to minimise, justify and rationalise their words, their actions, their lack…
(The real reason why you’re falling out of love) We don’t talk nearly enough about the papercuts that we get in our relationship. Not the big, dramatic blow ups that make you pack a bag and storm out like you’re in some trashy MAFS scene. 😤 No, I’m talking about the little moments. The raised voice. The “you’re being too sensitive.” 🥺 The important thing you had on today that they couldn’t be arsed to ask about. The “not now”…
I don’t watch MAFS generally but one of my friends was very insistent this week that I watch what’s unfolding with dickhead (whoops, I mean Adrian) and Awhina, so I set myself up a 9 now account and got stuck into some clips. 🤔 My friend started out as a client quite a while ago now and back then knew nothing about coercive control and domestic abuse. After quite a few sessions together, I’m proud to say she’s regularly…