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Browsing Tag

needs

Strategies for healthy boundaries when dealing with victim mindsets

  I was once sat next to an older lady while we both got our nails done.  About five minutes after I sat down to get mine done she starts telling me all about her life. An hour later I knew she’d had a heart attack eight years ago and that’s why she was sweating so much, she has a pacemaker and recently she broke her finger saving a puppy and now can’t feel any pain in that hand –…

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Are you ready for HFC Recovery? (5 steps to healing)

  Last week I posted a blog on 17 traits of High Functioning Codependents – HFC’s. Read it here if you missed it: I wanted to follow up with some tips on how to overcome this if you recognised yourself as a HFC. 😳  Healing your HFC personality can be challenging and takes practice, but it’s totally worth it! Here’s my 5 tips to getting started. AWARENESS 😳 The first step to healing anything is becoming aware of your patterns…

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Would you be proud or worried if your kid followed your relationship path?

  When I coach my clients around relationship issues, I find a really good question to ask is whether they’d be happy if their kid (or sibling or someone else they love) was in a relationship similar to their own. 🧐    It’s a confronting question and one that generates an immediate response.   We can fart-arse around any other question and smooth things over in our minds about our own relationship…. but if you took that same kind of…

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OMG it’s like you’re speaking to me!!

  I get emails and messages all the time saying “OMG woman, I feel like you’re speaking directly to me”! My fave is one long term client and friend who says “Carly, you’re in my brain again” 😂😂😂 You know why this is? Because I am! With so many of the things I write about, I was once there too. 🥹 Abusive, codependent, toxic relationships. 💔  So broke I couldn’t buy loo roll one week. Being a people pleaser, saying…

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What do you need?

  Many of us don’t know how to articulate our needs, or even really know what they are. 🧐  A need is different from a want.  A want states a desire, whereas a need is usually a statement about nurturing.  A want could be – I want a new car. 🚘  A need could be – I need a hug, I need you to listen to me, I need you to understand me,  I need some quiet time. 🥹 Pay…

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