When I coach my clients around relationship issues, I find a really good question to ask is whether they’d be happy if their kid (or sibling or someone else they love) was in a relationship similar to their own. 🧐 It’s a confronting question and one that generates an immediate response. We can fart-arse around any other question and smooth things over in our minds about our own relationship…. but if you took that same kind of…
I get emails and messages all the time saying “OMG woman, I feel like you’re speaking directly to me”! My fave is one long term client and friend who says “Carly, you’re in my brain again” 😂😂😂 You know why this is? Because I am! With so many of the things I write about, I was once there too. 🥹 Abusive, codependent, toxic relationships. 💔 So broke I couldn’t buy loo roll one week. Being a people pleaser, saying…
We’ve all got people in our lives who suck the life out of us. Those kind of push/pull relationships where they’ll push you away, call you a crappy friend/partner, act like you don’t even exist or talk shit about you to others. Then they pull you back in with some drama or another, making you feel needed in some way. Exhausting, isn’t it? True energy vampires. 🧛♀️ Ask yourself what it is you’d need to do to change the…
Many of us don’t know how to articulate our needs, or even really know what they are. 🧐 A need is different from a want. A want states a desire, whereas a need is usually a statement about nurturing. A want could be – I want a new car. 🚘 A need could be – I need a hug, I need you to listen to me, I need you to understand me, I need some quiet time. 🥹 Pay…
We live in a culture of apologising for who we are; the British especially are excellent at apologising for no reason at all. 🤷🏼♀️ How often do you apologise for… 🤔 asking questions 🛑 not being available all the time 🥹 your feelings 🤷🏼♀️ vocalising your needs 👣 outgrowing a place, person or situation 👏🏼 your accomplishments ☺️ not looking presentable 😍 doing things that make you happy ❌ having boundaries 🏠 having a messy house…
I N T I M A C Y ~ into me, I see ❤️ After what felt like a lifetime of failed relationships, I met my amazing fiancé Cam when I was 38. In our last few years together I’ve realised how much all my relationships have been a reflection of how I feel about myself and what I need to heal. My past relationships were a reflection of; 🥹 how I put others…