I don’t watch MAFS generally but one of my friends was very insistent this week that I watch what’s unfolding with dickhead (whoops, I mean Adrian) and Awhina, so I set myself up a 9 now account and got stuck into some clips. 🤔 My friend started out as a client quite a while ago now and back then knew nothing about coercive control and domestic abuse. After quite a few sessions together, I’m proud to say she’s regularly…
Imagine getting bitten by a snake, and instead of focusing your energy on recovering you chase the snake, wanting to know why it hurt you. 🥹 You want to prove to the snake that you didn’t deserve it biting you. This is a great analogy for what those who seek approval and validation outside of themselves tend to do when hurt by others. We chase them for answers; why did they hurt us? What did we do wrong? What…
Have you ever looked back at a moment in time and KNOWN it was the moment your entire life changed? Well, consider this a sign that change is well and truly on the way. A BIG FLASHING NEON SIGN. 💠 Back in 2019, I was a complete shell of myself after yet another failed relationship. 🫥 After years of abusive relationships with narcissists, putting myself last, having shit boundaries and not loving or respecting myself, I didn’t…
When I first heard “never let the unacceptable become the acceptable it really triggered a big reflection for me. 🧐 A reflection on how many times in the past I’ve done exactly that – let the unacceptable become the acceptable. 🥹 How in the past I’ve allowed myself to be treated with disrespect due to my own shitty boundaries. 😔 How I’ve allowed others to emotionally abuse me – some for years. 😭 How I gave my energy…
I love this quote by Ernest Hemingway; “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.” Reminds me of a blog I wrote on kintsukuroi, a Japanese technique where they take broken items and piece them back together with gold, the idea being that we are more beautiful for having been broken. ❤️🩹 The most amazing people I’ve ever met are those who truly know what it is to feel broken, and to learn, heal and grow in…
Most of us in life experience at least one relationship that becomes unhealthy for us. I’ve had my share of long term relationships that were abusive and codependent where I ended up as a shell of who I was. 😶🌫️ Leaving is hard because you’ve lost all confidence in who you are as a person. Abusive people show traits of narcissism and usually have attachment issues from childhood which tend to create a toxic playground and codependency/trauma bonding in…