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Browsing Tag

relationships

Strategies for healthy boundaries when dealing with victim mindsets

  I was once sat next to an older lady while we both got our nails done.  About five minutes after I sat down to get mine done she starts telling me all about her life. An hour later I knew she’d had a heart attack eight years ago and that’s why she was sweating so much, she has a pacemaker and recently she broke her finger saving a puppy and now can’t feel any pain in that hand –…

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One of the best questions you can ever ask yourself

  I was chatting to a Reiki client the other day about some relationship and work issues she was having.  I asked her a question that I ask a lot of my clients, and ask myself a lot, which I believe is actually one of the best questions you could ever ask yourself. “If I truly loved, honoured, trusted and respected myself, what would I not be putting up with? If I completely loved and respected myself, and prioritised my…

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Do you feel broken?

  I love this quote by Ernest Hemingway; “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.” Reminds me of a blog I wrote on kintsukuroi, a Japanese technique where they take broken items and piece them back together with gold, the idea being that we are more beautiful for having been broken. ❤️‍🩹  The most amazing people I’ve ever met are those who truly know what it is to feel broken, and to learn, heal and grow in…

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17 Traits of high functioning codependents

  I was listening to Danny Morel interview therapist Terri Cole this week and she was listing out the traits of high functioning codependents (HFC’s) and my brain said: OMG THAT’S MEEEEEE!!! 😳 ⚡️  Well, it’s the version of me from the past but I consider myself “in recovery” (I still need to keep myself in check at times). HFC’s exhibit codependent traits while still managing to perform well in many areas of their lives.  While they may seem successful…

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Trusting yourself again: Tips for healing & moving on

  Recently I shared the quote: “Everyone talks about how hard it is to trust people after you’ve been hurt. But not many people talk about how hard it is to trust YOURSELF when you’ve had your gut instincts, values and convictions skilfully undermined in a relationship where you’ve been coercively controlled.” Up until I met my amazing fiancé Cam in 2020, I had a history of relationships where I’d been love bombed, gaslighted, manipulated, coercively controlled and emotionally, mentally…

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Why loving yourself is the key to lasting love

  #reflection I’m so grateful to myself. Grateful I worked so hard at working on building my sense of self worth, self love and self esteem after I let partners who didn’t deserve my love tear it to shreds. 💔  Grateful I kept building my self love when I met Cam because I felt panicky letting his amazing kind of love in. 🫣 I didn’t/couldn’t trust it at first. After a history of challenging relationships where I was let down…

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