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All Posts By

Fia

17 Traits of high functioning codependents

  I was listening to Danny Morel interview therapist Terri Cole this week and she was listing out the traits of high functioning codependents (HFC’s) and my brain said: OMG THAT’S MEEEEEE!!! 😳 ⚡️  Well, it’s the version of me from the past but I consider myself “in recovery” (I still need to keep myself in check at times). HFC’s exhibit codependent traits while still managing to perform well in many areas of their lives.  While they may seem successful…

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How to survive leaving unhealthy relationship ☠️

  Most of us in life experience at least one relationship that becomes unhealthy for us.  I’ve had my share of long term relationships that were abusive and codependent where I ended up as a shell of who I was. 😶‍🌫️ Leaving is hard because you’ve lost all confidence in who you are as a person. Abusive people show traits of narcissism and usually have attachment issues from childhood which tend to create a toxic playground and codependency/trauma bonding in…

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An open reply to an email I received

  Last week I got the following email via the contact form on my website: “All this advice, advice, advice!  Why doesn’t anyone EVER acknowledge the limitations put upon us by those who control the narrative?  Those who make the laws and decide our options?  It’s near to impossible to create the life you want when society decides it for you and expects you to toe the line?  I’m all for making my dreams come true… if only “they” would…

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Trusting yourself again: Tips for healing & moving on

  Recently I shared the quote: “Everyone talks about how hard it is to trust people after you’ve been hurt. But not many people talk about how hard it is to trust YOURSELF when you’ve had your gut instincts, values and convictions skilfully undermined in a relationship where you’ve been coercively controlled.” Up until I met my amazing fiancé Cam in 2020, I had a history of relationships where I’d been love bombed, gaslighted, manipulated, coercively controlled and emotionally, mentally…

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Are you ignoring the small changes that could hurt you?

  Often I work with my coaching clients around situations that don’t serve them, and are making them completely miserable. 😞  They’ve usually been in the situation they’re in for a long period of time.  The situation they’re in never starts how it ends. Take the example of an abusive relationship. If an abusive relationship began how it ends up, you’d never find yourself in that relationship. It starts with subtle things at first – put downs, comments about what…

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Why loving yourself is the key to lasting love

  #reflection I’m so grateful to myself. Grateful I worked so hard at working on building my sense of self worth, self love and self esteem after I let partners who didn’t deserve my love tear it to shreds. 💔  Grateful I kept building my self love when I met Cam because I felt panicky letting his amazing kind of love in. 🫣 I didn’t/couldn’t trust it at first. After a history of challenging relationships where I was let down…

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